January 2003
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Happy New Year
02 January, 2003 at 01:48 PM by Ren | Permalink
Yeah, happy new year and siht.
I have tons to say, but i'm not in the mood to post.
I'll just say I'm still on vacation. or as my lil bro eric says "bu-kay-shun"
TTYL
um...hi!
10 January, 2003 at 04:32 PM by Ren | Permalink
I remember that I was going to do some long post about what a new beginning this new year is and a bunch of pompous bullshit like that but um...not so much.
So for that idea, I say this: Fuck that!
Anyway, today, I had resolved to do something productive and useful...I was going to get my car's inspection sticker...it's sort of overdue. By sort of, I mean more than a month. It's not my fault, totally...I just neglected to do it, and then wouldn't you know, there was all this christmas shopping to do, and people were moving across the state and you see! it's not my fault!
So today at lunch, I was gonna go get the sticker done. That's all there was to it. I was empowered. I went...the guy who inspects (let's call him, oh I don't know, "the inspector") had gone out to lunch. Shit.
He was supposed to be back in an hour; all well and good, but I had already used up some of my lunch time...so I clearly couldn't wait. I resolved to take a short lunch and try again later.
Fine, right? No.
At three I figure I should try again. So I do.
I hop into Ronessa and tell her we're gonna go get her physical. She's all excited that I'm paying attention to her so she goes along.
Well I'm driving down King Ave. in Kingsville going to the place to get the new sticker. Who suddenly appears in my car, none other than God Himself.
Ren: What's up Big G?
God: Ren, don't take Ronessa to get her Inspection today.
Ren: Why not Big G?
God: Hmm...let's just put it this way, I work in mysterious ways. Just do what I tell you.
Ren: Dude, I Seriously need to get the new sticker on the car. I've waited long enough.
God: Listen. I said no. You just can't. I have decided: you cannot get an Inspection Sticker today. Don't mess with me, boy.
I decided to go anyway. Clearly, you shouldn't screw with the Almighty because what should happen when I get there? Oh yeah, there were five, yes, count them, FIVE cars in front of me needing various degrees of oil changes and inspections. "Shit," I said to myself.
"Fuck," I said shortly after the garage attendant said "it'll be at least 45 minutes before we get to your car." I looked over at the passenger side and Big G was grinning and chuckling...he looked over at me and said "What did I say?"
I sighed.
Long story short: No Inspection Sticker today. Who knew that God was also the Inspection Sticker Nazi?
I have so much to
13 January, 2003 at 09:44 AM by Ren | Permalink
I have so much to say today, but I can't even think about how I'm going to say it. I think perhaps I'll keep it all to myself. Sometimes, things that happen to me, I don't post on here, because I want them all for myself and not for anyone else to see. That's not too often, but sometimes I do feel like that. I think today will be one of those days.
One thing though: Sunday morning Wonderbread's mom passed away. It was something most everyone who knows was expecting I think...it just happened so damned suddenly that it still took (at least me) by surprise. I do hope WB is oK. I talked to him last night for a while, and it seems like he will be oK for the time being...Jacob from O-Town (JOT) and Batman are keeping him giggly.
I'm a little jealous of JOT though, he was petting my Wonderbread yesterday. I'm mostly kidding, but I did get a little jealous...mostly cuz I couldn't be there to do the petting. and no, not heavy petting, just light petting. heh.
I also today will not mention the most inappropriate joke I heard JOT say about the funeral arrangements except to say that it was so tactless; it was still really funny though.
Well, this is quickly devolving. I'm leaving. Oh! If you have a suggestion for an mp3 download, let me know, I'm 5 mp3s short of 1,000. Go me. woo.
It's fucking cold in North Texas
18 January, 2003 at 08:54 AM by Ren | Permalink
So I'm in North Texas, freezing my balls off. But the people are nice, so I guess it's not all bad.
Anyway, I have about a million things to do today. Well only about five, really. But it feels like a shitload, so here's the skinny:
Somewhere in Gainesville Wal-Mart, Ronessa decided she was going to be bitchy and stop talking; her car horn has ceased to function. What the hell is up with THAT?
I was a huge dumbass and refused a ride with someone, and everyone said "what the fuck?" becasue like a retard, i had no idea until AFTER the opportunity passed.
DUH.
Finally, I heard Batman and Krysdol doing things.
Terrible things.
In his bedroom.
I died in my sleep about 50 times.
They didn't stop.
I think I heard them thank God a few times before I finally collapsed from my ears bursting.
Spin the Bottle is the devil.
19 January, 2003 at 01:25 PM by Ren | Permalink
Last night.
Oh Lord.
I won't go into the details of the day, except to say that everything went as I had expected.
Last night, though, whoo boy.
Ronessa Came Out To Play. And by Ronessa, I don't mean Janet Ronessa Black, my beloved 2001 Nissan Sentra. I'm talking about the Big Black Woman that lives deep inside the recesses of my tortured soul.
Yeah, Ronessa Morgan had to come out and play with Jaqueline. Girl, they had fun. Talkin about shit like I don't know what, and adjusting they' hair. It's all about the Big, Big Weave. Mmmmmmhmmmmmm.
Also, lesbians and their finger habits. Just icky. Ick.
Much drinking was done last night. And Krysdol convinced everyone that it would be a good idea to play spin the bottle. I'm going to fucking kick her in the balls for that...well if she had balls. Right.
About spin the bottle, I will say this. Ren has patience, but his patience can be tried. It don't need to be tried this weekend. No ma'am it doesn't. And it di'nt.
Well, apparently I'm going to go spend an afternoon of fun in the Big City or soemthing. All my ass knows is there better be some food up in that ho' soon or we go'an get real pissy.
one more thing
19 January, 2003 at 01:27 PM by Ren | Permalink
Last night we also played I've Never.
Damn, I used to be a big ass ho.
I'm not so much anymore. But shit, I really need to have sex outside the vehicular realm. Shit. No, more like sheeeeeeeeit.
End of the weekend
20 January, 2003 at 11:45 AM by Ren | Permalink
Yesterday was an extreme joy.
Damn, that was overstating it. Right. Well yesterday was a blast. I had a great time with Wonderbread and Krysdol and Batman. Well Batman wasn't there until the end, but still.
Hee! I can put Wonderbread to sleep like he was a crocodile. Not by rubbing him on the belly, mind you; by playing with his hair. It's fun. Most of the time.
I really thought for a second when I started writing this morning, that I was going to talk all about what I did yesterday, and then it struck me that I was going to keep that experience all to myself. So fuck all of you who weren't there. It's all mine and not yours : )
Also, I think I need to give names to Jack, Liz and Brian. Brian's is easy: henceforth he will be referenced on this site as "Accident." As for Jack, I'm not sure...but with all the imaginary weave that boy carries on his head, it could very easily be Jacqueline. And Liz, hmm, all I can think of when I remember this weekend with Liz is a big, big Fist. But that's dirty, I can't call her Fist. That's just wrong. If the four of you who read this have any idea, let me know. I'll see if I can come up with names. Also, I want pictures. Damn, Pictures!
Every Martin Luther King Day-Weekend should be this enjoyable. So, oK, toodles everyone until I get my punk ass out of North Texas and into South Texas, where all the brown people belong. : )
One final thing. Janet Ronessa Black likes Wonderbread. She started honking her horn in delight when he drove her. Her I was thinking "fuck, she's gonna have to go to the doctor to make her start talking again!" and all it took was a quick drive by Wonderbread. Go figure. It was bound to happen eventually...she's crushing on the Wonderbread. It's oK, though; I'll kill her if she tries anything.
Four Things
22 January, 2003 at 10:25 AM by Ren | Permalink
First: It's friggen cold in South Texas today; I think my tender vittles have ascended into the warmth of my body cavity. I'm not sure as I can't feel most of my lower body right now anyway.
Second: I'm slightly perturbed that Krysdol hasn't strapped on her strap-on and posted some comments about my revelations about her weekend.
Third: It is 455 miles (give or take a mile) from the Batcave (that would be Batman's domicile) to my apartment in Corpus Christi.
Fourth: I made a tiny, tiny change to my website this morning. See if you can figure out what it is.
Short and sweet. If I have more to say, I'll say it later.
Gene Roddenberry Highway
23 January, 2003 at 09:09 AM by Ren | Permalink
Check this shit out, yo: "Roddenberry Highway" Petition Underway
Oh. My. God. They already named the planetarium in El Paso after Gene Roddenberry, now they're naming the whole fucking freeway after him. Dont' get me wrong, the trekkie part of me thinks this is the coolest shit ever; but the rest of me (you know, the responsible 26 year old part of me) says, "holy crap, are you guys galactically nuts?"
So of course, I sent this link to my father and my mother. Oh wait, first some background. I was born in El Paso and lived there for the first 13 years of my life...that's why this story has so much personal bearing. ANYWAY, I sent the link to my mom and dad. Their responses are classic.
My mother said "well at least then El Paso won't be remembered as just the home of the Night Stalker" and my father, bless his soul went off on not stopping at just the freeway, but rather creating a new Star Trek suburb!
His idea: name all the streets after M-Class planets and futuristic cultures (think Borg St. [scary right?], Andoria Prime Ave. and of course Qo'NoS Dr.). I added that since it will definitely be a big sub-division, you'd have to add starship names and famous Starfleet officers as street names. So the main street in this subdivision is going to be Enterprise Blvd. (the recreation center would have to be 1701 Enterprise Blvd. with individual meeting rooms named A, B, C, D and E . . . and how cool would it be to go to your friend Billy's birthday party in 1701-D Enterprise Blvd?!) and Excelsior Dr. (that's the ritzy street), and um James T. Kirk St., Spock Ave., "Bones" Ln., Jean-Luc Picard St. I could go on for days.
Then we moved onto the high school. Federation High School. He suggested the mascot would be the Trekkies, but I think a better mascot would be the Starfleet Cadets. The marching band would be called the 'Pride of the Federation' and they would all wear Next Generation uniforms for their band uniforms. No hats; pointy ears and black wigs cut to look like Mr. Spock's hair would be the headgear.
Oh my dear God. My father and I need lives. Or we need to lay off the crank. Either one would probably work actually.
Holy crap
26 January, 2003 at 12:23 AM by Ren | Permalink
I just got back from IHOP.
Krysdol and I just gained about 20 pounds. We ate like pigs. Damn.
It was good though.
Now, I'm gonna go lie in bed and hope I don't puke all over myself.
Whoo doggies!
Oh Good Lord
26 January, 2003 at 08:23 PM by Ren | Permalink
So I'm sitting here watching TV.
I'm watching A Walk To Remember. I need to stop. This movie is so melodramatic. It's so...Lifetime. Still, it has it's charms.
Mandy Moore dies in it. Come on, that's a plus! Nuthin but dyin' in her pocket!
Ok, that was hideous and bad and I'm such a bitter bitch. But still, it made you laugh in disgust didn't it?! Alright, back to movie watchin!
17 years ago
28 January, 2003 at 01:03 PM by Ren | Permalink
http://space.about.com/library/weekly/aa080202a.htm
17 years ago today, the Space Shuttle Challenger blew up killing all abord. I just can't believe it was 17 years ago. I was in the fourth grade. FOURTH GRADE! Holy crow, am I really that much older?
I remember exactly where I was when we found out the news about the Challenger. We hadn't heard about it at all; we were at lunch! We all noticed that the flag was at half mast that day...that struck us as odd, we had no idea what happened to cause them to lower the flag. All we knew was that something bad had to happen for the flag to get lowered (I did learn something from Cub Scouts!).
Lunch/recess came to an end; we all lined up in our little 4th grade spot waiting for our teacher to come and pick us up and take us back to class. Mrs. Camille Baggs (one of my two 4th grade teachers, another story for another time though) came to pick us up. We couldn't stay still--we all wanted to know why the flag was at half mast. Well, Mrs. Baggs must've hated teaching 4th graders because this is what she said (and also cemented into my mind the reason I hate her beyond all my other evil teachers, ever). She said "God, don't you kids know ANYTHING? The Challenger blew up today. Shut up and walk in a straight line back to the room. I mean *you* Rene." and looked directly at me. I was horrified. The Space Shuttle blew up and here she was singling me out to be quiet. Mind you, she was right to do so, I could talk up a storm. Shit, who am I kidding, I can still chat up a storm. Anyway, I couldn't believe she said that. She was just so nonchalant about the whole thing. And the worst part was even though she only taught us half a day (so she got to see the whole thing on TV), she merely assumed that we already knew. Worse yet, we were all kids raised on Star Wars and Star Trek; we loved outer space. We all wanted to be astronauts and travel through the stars. Hearing that kind of news was practically devastating. The good guys never explode halfway to space! They make it up to space and save the day!
I hate her. She was such a bitch. Strong words, but I really dislike that woman. She was just utterly mean to all of us for no good reason other than we were 10 years old and curious.
Funny how afterwards I never connected the fact that the neighborhood that grew up behind my house was in a way a memorial to the Challenger. The streets were all named after the astronauts that died that day. There was a Challenger Dr. too. I always liked riding my bike down Scobee Dr. Scobee is a fun word. Say it out loud.
Strange though, that I never connected those two until today. Anyway, I rambled; there was a point to this story at one time, but now its just me blabbing on. I'm going now. TTYL
puking sucks
30 January, 2003 at 10:03 PM by Ren | Permalink
Yesterday was horrible.
Absolutely horrible.
About 3 p.m. yesterday I got violently ill. My stomach was throwing a party, and I wasn't invited. I managed to stay at work til about 4:45 and then I couldn't take the grumbling anymore. I went home.
The trip home was excruciating. I swear I was gonna blow chunks at any moment on the way home.
I made it home.
I walked into my apartment at about 5:30 and started throwing up everything that ever stayed in my stomach. I puked for about two hours. It was horrible. After there was nothing left in my stomach, I brushed my teeth, and drank some water.
I threw up the water.
The dry heaves were the worst. I can honestly say that my stomach spasmed so violently it closed completely. I felt both sides of my stomach touching. Oh yeah, baby, it sucked.
Then. Oh God it gets worse! Dude, as if projectile vomit wasn't bad enough...my bowels thought they'd get in on the fun. Oh yeah, we're talking wicked diarrhea. That lasted the rest of the night, and into this morning.
FUN!
I got about 5 hours of sleep total. I was running a fever all night, and running to the bathroom to, you know, poop what basically amounted to water. Isn't that delicious?
Today I feel much better though. Mostly because i'm not spewing from both ends, but still. It's the simple pleasures that make life worth living. That and not puking and pooping uncontrollably.