um...hi!
10 January, 2003 by Ren at 04:32 PM
I remember that I was going to do some long post about what a new beginning this new year is and a bunch of pompous bullshit like that but um...not so much.
So for that idea, I say this: Fuck that!
Anyway, today, I had resolved to do something productive and useful...I was going to get my car's inspection sticker...it's sort of overdue. By sort of, I mean more than a month. It's not my fault, totally...I just neglected to do it, and then wouldn't you know, there was all this christmas shopping to do, and people were moving across the state and you see! it's not my fault!
So today at lunch, I was gonna go get the sticker done. That's all there was to it. I was empowered. I went...the guy who inspects (let's call him, oh I don't know, "the inspector") had gone out to lunch. Shit.
He was supposed to be back in an hour; all well and good, but I had already used up some of my lunch time...so I clearly couldn't wait. I resolved to take a short lunch and try again later.
Fine, right? No.
At three I figure I should try again. So I do.
I hop into Ronessa and tell her we're gonna go get her physical. She's all excited that I'm paying attention to her so she goes along.
Well I'm driving down King Ave. in Kingsville going to the place to get the new sticker. Who suddenly appears in my car, none other than God Himself.
Ren: What's up Big G?
God: Ren, don't take Ronessa to get her Inspection today.
Ren: Why not Big G?
God: Hmm...let's just put it this way, I work in mysterious ways. Just do what I tell you.
Ren: Dude, I Seriously need to get the new sticker on the car. I've waited long enough.
God: Listen. I said no. You just can't. I have decided: you cannot get an Inspection Sticker today. Don't mess with me, boy.
I decided to go anyway. Clearly, you shouldn't screw with the Almighty because what should happen when I get there? Oh yeah, there were five, yes, count them, FIVE cars in front of me needing various degrees of oil changes and inspections. "Shit," I said to myself.
"Fuck," I said shortly after the garage attendant said "it'll be at least 45 minutes before we get to your car." I looked over at the passenger side and Big G was grinning and chuckling...he looked over at me and said "What did I say?"
I sighed.
Long story short: No Inspection Sticker today. Who knew that God was also the Inspection Sticker Nazi?