April 2003
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Right. Yes, I have noticed
05 April, 2003 at 05:22 PM by Ren | Permalink
Right. Yes, I have noticed that the feature has gone haywire again. I know what's wrong, I'm just not going to fix it today. Maybe on Monday.
Today I'm very worried about myself. I slept wonderfully last night...and frankly slept well through this morning too. : ) But seriously, I feel my mood shifting again and I don't have the slightest clue what to do about it. I can feel my mood get into something resembling a depression. It's weird, I feel incredibly lonely right now, and I could tell it's been building for a few days now. I don't know what I'm going to do about it. I think I'm just freaking out over the fact that I simply don't have the same network of friends that I used to have.
It's been dwindling down for a while now; I'd lose track of someone here and there. But it wasn't really noticable until just recently. Maybe I've just outgrown all the people I used to know, all they wanted to do was go out and drink--me, not so much anymore. Dont' get me wrong, I still have very close friends, but I sort of miss the times when I could call people up and be all "lets go do something"
blah! This kind of sucks. I should stop thinking. Besides, this is making me sound terribly pathetic. Forget that I said this.
Talk to you later
Nightmare
07 April, 2003 at 01:14 AM by Ren | Permalink
I just had a wicked nightmare.
It was one of those dreams where you're trying to escape the horrible fate you know awaits you at the end of it, but no matter what you do you still get slaughtered. Yeah. That was the kind.
I woke up with cold sweats and everything. Short of breath and stuff, too. Crazy bad. Now I'm afraid to go back to sleep.
I miss those days when you could go to your mom and dad and ask them to make it better. That solved all problems. It was like the time I had a nightmare that Darth Vader was coming to kill me. Serious! I had this poster with Vader pointing right at me, and he totally leapt off the closet door where I had hung the poster and came to kill me.
I could even hear his respirator (yeah, I had an active imagination, still do) as the horrible dark thing came closer from my closet to my bed trying to kill me.
I crawled out of my bed and went to my parents room and asked them if I could sleep there. They agreed, after all the Dark Lord of the Sith was after me and then I felt much better. Slept quite well that night.
Who do I get to sleep with now? Who makes it better when I have bad dreams now? This is so not cool.
Frustration
10 April, 2003 at 03:18 PM by Ren | Permalink
MOTHERFUCK.
I totally wrote this really good post about how easy it is to set me off these days, and what the hell does fucking movable type do to me? WIPES OUT THE ENTRY.
FUCK YOU!
I'm so offended. Maybe i'll post again later. Until then FUCK YOU MOVABLE TYPE! *grr*
Sorry about the cussing. Like I said, the strangest shit is setting me off. Funny how losing an entry will piss you off, isn't it?
Must. Sleep.
11 April, 2003 at 03:54 PM by Ren | Permalink
It's Friday afternoon here at work. I've done all I can possibly think of. I read all my websites, sat around looking like I did work, actually did work and now...nothing. I either have to start a new project on a Friday afternoon or face the possibility that I could die from boredom.
Dear God. When did it come to this?
Hic
13 April, 2003 at 08:02 PM by Ren | Permalink
Dammit, as if I didn't have better things for my diaphragm to be doing, it decided to start spasming violently today. Yes. That's right. I have the hiccups.
Of course, because my body loves to torture me, I can't just get hiccups that stay all day. No, these come and go. I can't drink anything because as soon as I do...the hiccups come back. F'n hiccups.
They went away this afternoon, but as soon as I got home, they came back. They're horrible. I hate the hiccups. I'll probably not be able to sleep because I'll be hiccuping well into the night.
F'n hiccups.
Cup
13 April, 2003 at 08:44 PM by Ren | Permalink
Hell yeah! I think they're gone! No hiccuping for like 20 minutes now.
Of course having said this, they're bound to come back *sigh*
F'n hiccups.
and then...
13 April, 2003 at 09:17 PM by Ren | Permalink
They came back. How they taunt me so!
F'n Hiccups.
F'n Hiccups
14 April, 2003 at 08:39 AM by Ren | Permalink
So I spent the night with the hiccups. I think they finally stopped around 1:45 in the morning, because I woke up and it was 3:30 and I had been asleep for a while.
I fell back asleep and woke up around 4:45 hiccuping like it was going out of style.
F'n hiccups.
Somehow I managed to get back to sleep and woke up at about 6:45 in the morning. Don't ask me how I got back to sleep when my upper respiratory cavity is violently spasming. All I care about is that I fell back asleep. Perhaps the fact that I was damn tired and didn't give a flying freak that my diaphragm wanted attention allowed me to regain unconsciousness. My chest hurts a whole bunch this morning as I sit here at work typing to you. Imagine that? Apparently that's what happens to you when you hiccup like it's your favorite thing to do. Yeah, so now I'm sore and I hurt, all from the f'n hiccups.
F'n hiccups.
For lack of any inspiration
15 April, 2003 at 09:49 AM by Ren | Permalink
I always have these great posts when I'm falling asleep. Unfortunately for you four faithful readers, I can never remember them when I wake up. Oops. I should probably write them down or something.
So because I can't remember what a great post I was going to put up today, this is what you get:
Enjoy. Maybe I'll write more if I can think of anything to say
Work network sucks
16 April, 2003 at 10:42 AM by Ren | Permalink
The network at work here sucks balls (but not in the good way). I've been downloading the final Matrix trailer (it is for 'research purposes' so its work related. Shut up.) all morning. It's just now a little over halfway done.
Dude, I need me some Neo NOW! Hurry network. Hurry!
Other than that, today is quiet, not like yesterday.
I thought about making a really snarky post today about someone, but I decided against it, mostly because it's a total exaggeration of how I actually feel, but also because when I snark I can actually hurt feelings so I'm just going to let it go. Yes. I am actually letting something go.
Shut up, Rollermog. I do let things go once in a while.
Anyway, no you don't get to know who the post was about, and no it wasn't who you think it is. So there.
And finally, just so you know I'm still hormonally challenged (did I mention that at all before? I don't remember...), I saw HOT-CIS-CWB wearing shorts. *drool* It's such a delicious snack. I could . . . no, I'm not going there because it would quickly turn into an erotic story, and I'm not ready for the nifty archive just yet.
That is all.
great night
17 April, 2003 at 12:29 AM by Ren | Permalink
oh man. tonight ruled.
we're gonna rock the no caps tonight btw.
went to the blue october show at the executive surf club tonight. they kicked serious ass. serious.
The best part of the show was when blue october was playing 'razorblade'. the new bassist, dwayne was leaving out half the notes (but i'll forgive him, since during 'james' he played the shit out of that song.) justin, the lead singer started singing right at me. totally staring me down; i was singing back. i have never had such an experience before, i was totally pumped. it ruled like no other. he was singing right at me and looking me straight in the eye, and i was singing the fuck right back at him. fucking amazing. it was like a spiritual experience. now i understand why people are all about trying to get the singers attention. there is no experience quite like that one...you know the singer is singing the song and totally trying to psych you up. fucking awesome. i think since matt is no longer in the band, i may have to transfer my *luvinfromtheoven* to justin. i'm debating it, though.
also, the girl next to me was totally jealous...she actually said "i saw him singing to you, i'm so jealous of you, you bitch."
I rock like slayer: )
They keep pulling me back in!
17 April, 2003 at 10:25 AM by Ren | Permalink
Right, so last night I talked on the phone. After the show, mind you.
Anyway, it's funny. Just at those times when I think I'm frustrated enough and I've had enough of the drama, I get pulled back in. I hear, for no apparent reason the worst and the best three word sentence in the English language (yes, that phrase. you know the one) and it just sounds so goddamn honest that you can't resist and before I know it, I'm sucked back in. It's really nice to hear stuff like that. Especially when they mean it. They better mean it. I'm looking RIGHT AT YOU.
Anyway, along those lines of getting pulled back in, I have a work story:
I'm supposed to send out a faculty/staff mass email today and I've decided that our faculty is stupid, stupid, stupid. The man i'm sending it out for said "this faculty mass email that you're sending out, it goes to *all* faculty, right?" because of course, I'm just going to send it to whoever I really want to...I'd never send it to ALL faculty. Ugh. That's just dumb and stupid. It sucks me right back into being frustrated.
They keep pulling me back in.
Why can't I just be happy that I got a nice phone call at 2 in the morning and that Justin sang to me last night during Razorblade, huh? Why?
STOP PULLING ME BACK IN!
Wallpaper Whore
17 April, 2003 at 04:19 PM by Ren | Permalink
I am such the wallpaper whore. I change my desktop wallpaper at least once a week. Ask Rollermog.
So today, I found a cute wallpaper that features the former bass player for Blue October in his new band, the A+ Machines. Anyway, I downloaded the largest version of the wallpaper they had (1024x768) and tried to stretch it on my desktop. See, here at work, I have a f'n huge monitor. 20 inches. I'm no size queen, but this monitor rules. It's a 20" monitor set to 1280x1024 pixels. I'd set it to 1600x1400, but everything would be WAY too small.
Yes, there's a point.
So this 1024x768 doesn't stretch right; it's all wrong baby. So being the wallpaper whore that I am, I go and fix it in photoshop. It's no big deal. . .just gotta make it a little bigger, and the right dimensions. It's all good baby.
See the Original | See the version sitting on my desktop
Keep in mind both of these versions made available for your perusal are resized for your pleasure. No one wants to look at a friggen 1280x1024 picture.
Desktop wallpaper whore. That's me!
Feliz Pascua!
21 April, 2003 at 09:44 AM by Ren | Permalink
So yeah, Easter *was* yesterday, but I didn't post because I was busy driving to San Antonio and back. Good day, and I even got pictures! Go check them out, and you can even see me with a goatee!
In other news, I'm going to Dallas this coming Friday. I was actually a little afraid about going, but now that I know Wonderbread is looking forward to me going, I'm pretty stoked. Yes, I just used the word 'stoked.' So, yeah, I'll be gone from Friday to Sunday. Not that I ever really post on here on those days...but still. At least you know.
I may post more later, when I actually feel like talking, but I heard Freaky just walk into the office, so I needs to talk to mah gurl!
some explaining
21 April, 2003 at 04:41 PM by Ren | Permalink
I've mulled it over today, and I think I should clarify why I called Dad's girlfriend "the Alcoholic." Clearly, as you can see, everyone on my website has a nickname. This was the first one that came to mind for her...not cuz she's an actual alcoholic, but because she can drink me under the table. Anyone with that ability should be labeled an alcoholic. : ) His last girlfriend I casually referred to as "Miss 100% Personality Free" So it's not like its a mutually exclusive thing...I actually like the alcoholic. She's fun.
Ok, I've 'splained. I feel better now.
F'n Laundry
23 April, 2003 at 09:35 PM by Ren | Permalink
I've done laundry forever it seems. I still have two loads to go. I'm so doing them tomorrow.
ON the upside, I've discovered that I now have enough socks and underwear to go 20 days! RAWK ON!
Channeling Jessie Spano
24 April, 2003 at 04:29 PM by Ren | Permalink
Today is Thursday at work. Normally Thursdays aren't bad days--this week it's bad. I'm taking tomorrow off to go to Dallas to chill with the Wonderbread. Of course this means mega emergencies must occur today. They have. I'm so busy today!
There's never any time!There's never enough time!
I'm so Excited!!! I'm so Exci--I'm so scared!
oK, so I channeled Jessie Spano. Sue me. Like I could care, I'll be gone tomorrow anyway : ) See you guys Sunday!
Wireless LAN Rules
25 April, 2003 at 09:01 PM by Ren | Permalink
I'm in Dallas, yo.
I am on a laptop with wireless ethernet. Dude. That shit rocks, yo.
Why do I keep saying Yo, yo?
I'll get home Sunday, yo.
I'll talk to you later, yo.
Funny story!
27 April, 2003 at 12:45 PM by Ren | Permalink
So this morning, Wonderbread and I are goofing off waiting for inspiration to shower or whatever...and we were talking about the previous night (we went out) and how I got a little worried when he went for a trip around the club while I was talking to Ronessa (not my car, but my sistah!) and I thought I lost my ride. He said:
Wonderbread: I never leave anyone stranded.
Which in itself, is a pretty ironclad statement. Then he says this:
Wonderbread: I am a good ride home.
For those of you who know me, you know that as soon as he said that, I had about 50 different derogatory comments ready to go. Luckily for me, Wonderbread himself outdid me by completing his "I am a good ride home" statement with a tuneful fart.
Yes. A fart. He pooted right after he said I'm a good ride home. This immediately prompts me to say:
Ren: Apparently you still are.
Draw your own conclusions. It took Wonderbread a good thirty seconds before he got it.
I will post more about my fabulous weekend when I get back to Corpus.
Recap
28 April, 2003 at 12:30 PM by Ren | Permalink
So, I can't really think of one great story that totally sums up what a GREAT weekend I had this past weekend. All I can say is that taking Friday off and flying to Dallas was one of the best things I've done in a long time. Sure, you fuckers will say whatever about my motivations for going, but shit bitches! I had such a great and relaxing weekend that I couldn't possibly think of anything better in terms of getting away from it all. Ok, I can think of one thing, but it involves jedi and coarse prose so we're not going there today.
Right. I spent the weekend chillin like a villian in the Metroplex. It was great. I stayed in Carrollton with the people whom Wonderbread currently resides. We went out Friday night which was fun...we also went out Saturday night (yes, Ren still goes out more than one time a weekend sometimes).
Saturday was worthy of note because 1. I was told that I lack initiative. I call shenanigans on that notion, and I think I proved myself, don't you agree? (yes, I realize that you have no idea how I did it; guess you should call and see if I will tell you ; ) and 2. I found Roel out and about. Roel and I are friends from way back when were were just as skinny as Wonderbread. My how age and steady jobs (so we can afford food) have affected us. Never, ever would I suggest that the Sisters Ronessa have put on the pounds because of ALCOHOL. That's absurd.
It was really good to see him, and it was wunderbar to hang out with my stupidhed. I did feel a little bad about not seeing Batman and JOT, but oh well, I went there for one reason--everything else was garnish.
The flight home was a blast too; I swear, the flight attendants took their 'saucy' pills before we left. They were hilarious.
I got home at about 10:30 p.m. on Sunday; had a message saying how positively delightful my company was this weekend. And why shoudlnt' it be? After all, I'm funny, smart and apparently a pretty good kisser : P (well that's what they tell me, I can't kiss myself and verify). Seriously though, it was a very uh...shall we say...sweet message.
So all in all it was a great weekend, although now I do need to email my parents to tell them that I'm still alive and not lost in baggage claim at the airport.