July 2003
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Kermit: RIP
03 July, 2003 at 10:54 PM by Ren | Permalink
Yesterday I drove home late from Kingsville.
I went with Rollermog to go see Legally Blonde 2 (very cute movie, but it makes me want a hot dog REAL bad) and I didn't get on the road home until nearly 11.
It had been raining all evening so on the country roads home there were many frogs frolicking along the highway. Sure it's all fun and games for the amphibians until they get trampled by 2 ton harbingers of doom careening down the ashphalt at 70 mph.
It was a bloody night for frogkind. I killed many, many kermits. I felt horrible; I even swerved trying to avoid as many as I could...it was dangerous man! The roads were slick with water and the blood of the non-believing frogs. I tried my damndest to spare as many as I could and I felt proud for knowingly avoiding frogicide whenever humanly possible.
I didn't even think about it again until this morning when I was going to my car. I remotely unlocked Ronessa's doors and saw the most gruesome thing I had ever seen: fried to her passenger side foglamp was the partially crushed body of a froggy. He leapt straight to his doom and then cooked himself onto my foglamp.
Tragic.
After grossing out with this gruesome sight, I realized I couldn't go driving around with a half cooked frog carcass on my car (how not cute would THAT be?) so I had to remove the frog. I had to scrape him off with my shoe. MY SHOE! The worst part was that most of his lifeless slimy little body was still pretty flexible, but the part that was stuck to my car was totally crispy. Even in all that rain! You could totally hear his frog brains scratching against my foglamp. It was horrendous. The humanity...no this is a frog...the amphibianity!
I won't be able to sleep again. Oh wait. Yes I will.
Happy Fourth!
04 July, 2003 at 06:12 PM by Ren | Permalink
or as Freaky would say "happy ferrrrrrrrrrth of July!"
Anyway, I'm here in Kingsville...just for fun, yes, I realize how sick and twisted that is. But it's not that bad; I'm here at Rollermog's. We're going to cookout or something...and I even helped! I made guacomole. I'm quite proud of myself. I hope it turns out. Yes I realize that it's only a dip/condiment. But f* you! I have to work up to suize chef!
Anyway, on this day of thanks...err...independence from the Crown or whatever the hell you feel like celebrating today drink and be merry or something.
I know I'm going to be drinking. And being merry. Maybe I'll even go find something to ignite and launch. Or at least run around all sparkly-like.
I really have to go now, Rollermog is playing this H-A-W-T remix of "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera (yes, I know she's a whore, but that remix is friggen hot!). K. Enjoy your Fourth of July.
Happy Ferrrrrrrth, part dos
05 July, 2003 at 02:18 PM by Ren | Permalink
G'morning. Yes, I fully realize that it's totally 2 in the afternoon...but my ass just got up about 30 minutes ago. I went and raided Rollermog's cocina for something to snack on. See, yesterday there were miles and miles of food. There are still miles and miles of food. Mostly dips. So I helped myself to some mushroom (tip) paté and guacomole for days. Shoo', it was good, yo!
Anyway, I totally had a thought this morning about money and all that and since we don't have to be super-patriotically-loyal anymore to the president because it's not the Fourth I just want to say that thanks to the recent tax-cut legislation he passed, I get an entire ten dollars more on my paycheck. Thanks W! I can get a whole pizza now. Seriously, thanks.
Ok. I'm done. And I apologize for all those bad sentences up there. It was run-on sentence day here at Rollermog's.
Moebius!
07 July, 2003 at 09:20 AM by Ren | Permalink
I don't know why, but I think this is super hilarious.
I got that from my friend Fostin. He just found out his friend has been doing this for some time. Fostin has some crazy friends, that's for sure. Anyway, there's a bunch of these little one panel things, each deliciously off the wall. Moebius Whale gone wild was just the one I happened to link to. Very fab.
Oh yeah, I forgot
07 July, 2003 at 11:08 AM by Ren | Permalink
This weekend was a blast. I spent the better part of it with Rollermog drinking and cavorting and sleeping. There was lots of sleeping. And really gay ass diva music. Lots of that too.
Anyway, the one downside of the weekend was the lack of high speed internet access. See, Rollermog is one of those poor college students; he can't afford DSL or cable. So I was stuck on dial-up this weekend. Good God. How do you people live?
It took hours to check all my email. Years were spent viewing fark.com. I dont' like to sit and wait for my page to slowly show up. It was horrible. I nearly died waiting for pictures to load in.
Thank the Maker for progress. Let me tell you I was never happier to have my DSL back then after being on dial-up for a week.
Oh Ace, Ace, Ace
07 July, 2003 at 04:25 PM by Ren | Permalink
What the frick is this monstrosity?
Real World Paris' Ace Amerson's Website.
That website, my friends, is a travesty of epic proportions. First, that he has a website; second that its THAT awful. Mostly, that it's that awful. Look only if you have a strong stomach...it's that bad.
Peh-nus
07 July, 2003 at 04:56 PM by Ren | Permalink
The Hulk is hung like a ... uh ... well ... Hulk.
Holy crow!
08 July, 2003 at 09:07 AM by Ren | Permalink
This morning I'm sitting in my office contemplating the nature of quiet, hoping this dull headache I woke up with will slowly drift away...and then, this horrific drilling sound starts to eminate from the wall behind me.
No big deal, right?
Except the sound never stops. It just continues and continues. It's horrible; I swear it's like someone is killing a large squawky bird on the second floor of College Hall.
Sensing that my headache is getting worse, I decide to go investigate. I wander the building and discover that someone's office is getting renovated. Funny, because I could have sworn we were in budget crunch and no one was getting anything, but apparently they have money to renovate an office and drill holes in concrete. Who knew?
So now I'm sitting in another office--one not directly under the renovation--hoping my headache will subside and I won't be forced to kill anyone because of the pain (oh God, the pain!) from the stupid drill.
Stupid drill.
Look at me! I'm melodramatic.
Oh. My. God.
08 July, 2003 at 12:12 PM by Ren | Permalink
Those Teeth! *dies*
But wait. It gets worse: Princess Di to be Comic Book Superhero
El Viernes Cinco
11 July, 2003 at 08:18 AM by Ren | Permalink
Here's a post since I haven't in several days. Batman was in town registering for classes here on campus and going to orientation. I'm so proud of him; he's got everything ready to come here in the fall. Krysdol should be pretty impressed. He actually did it. Uh...Wonderbread has now called me twice in the last two days after a period of nothing for like two weeks. So I suppose that's good or whatever. Um...my mom and her boyfriend are coming to visit today, so that means I have to clean up all the porn and underwear from the apartment, because no mother wants to see her son's porn collection. I'll leave the condoms out though, because it gives the illusion that I'm getting laid on a fairly regular basis. Image is everything, after all.
I think that's it for my life in the last few days. Things are quiet, which is good. So on that note, it's time for a Friday Five:
- Do you remember your first best friend? Who was it?
Charlie Villaseñor. He lived next door to my grandmother, and we happened to have between the two of us the entire Star Wars toy collection. Epic battles were staged between the forces of the Empire and Rebellion on George Orr St. back in the early 80's. He was my best friend all through grade school and middle school. - Are you still in touch with this person?
I haven't heard from him personally since I graduated university (three years now) but my grandmother still hears from him every once in a while. He's married to some old lady with kids. It's quite bizarre. - Do you have a current close friend?
Of course I do. I don't exist in a vaccuum. My closest friends would have to be Rollermog and Freaky. Rollermog is my partner in crime; Freaky is my singing/dancing partner. Seriously, we're working on a tour. Shit, if Christina "look at me, I'm a whore" Aguilera and Justin "look at my beautiful arms; aren't I hot?" Timberlake can do it...Freaky and I can. I also apparently have a "special friend" or so he said last night on the telephone. Yeah, it freaks my shit out too. - How did you become friends with this person?
Rollermog and I became friends his freshman year in college. We were kindred souls in the same section of the marching band. Plus, he shared my penchant for drinking and web design...how could we NOT be friends? Freaky started working in my office in 2001 and immediately took a liking to me...shit if I know why. When we discovered how absolutely retarded we are together, we knew we could never be apart ever again. - Is there a friend from your past that you wish you were still in contact with? Why?
Several of my friends from middle school I wish I were still in contact with. Austin, Andy, Andrea, Liz, Scotty, Alex, man...just the whole 8th grade class of Vista Del Sol School. We were an unstoppable force until I was moved to Corpus Christi. I slowly lost touch with them after that and I'd love to hear what happened to them all. Oh, and also my friend Angel from 5th grade. We used to hang out all the time and then he moved schools...we were going to go to the same high school but I moved. I later found out he went to Texas A&M University-College Station but when I tried to email him he had already graduated (so they shut off his email). Oh well. Now I'm all sad. I miss my old friends! Aww. Sentimental is sucky!
Ahh good times, good times...
11 July, 2003 at 07:19 PM by Ren | Permalink
I was just reminiscing (yes, I'm doing a lot of that today) and I was remembering how Charlie and I used to stage epic battles between the forces of the Rebellion and the Empire. I think the single most elaborate battle was the day we both realized we had the big cigar shaped personnel transports from Empire Strikes Back, so we turned over some chairs in my grandma's living room, put some white blankets over them and built Echo Base. Then, we got his AT-AT and began the battle of Hoth.
It was wickedly elaborate.
For instance, outside our Echo Base playset/living room, we had set up the Deflector Field Generators for the shield protecting Echo Base. Naturally, we had it well defended by Rebel troops who were getting trounced by superior Imperial Forces. There was plastic carnage everywhere. Poor rebel troops, getting thrown across the room as imaginary blaster fire struck them dead. All I have to say is thank the Maker for Blast-em action. It saved us the trouble of actually breaking our toys, since at the push of a button, they fell apart anyway.
We knew all the lines to the movie so we even had our Princess Leia figure in Hoth costume do the whole scene where she explains how the Ion Cannon is going to fire several shots before each transport escapes ("two escorts against a Star Destroyer? That's suicide!"). We then proceeded to fill our transports up with all our figures just as the Imperial Walkers were entering the base ("Imperial troopers have entered the Base...Imperial troopers have" *hissssssss*). Firing several volleys from the makeshift Ion Cannon, we traced the fire to the Star Destroyer located high in space. Except we didn't have a Star Destroyer so we just used the couch (hey, it was big enough!). As one of us did that, the other launched the transports who got out just in the nick of time.
Finally, we got Han, Threepio, Chewie and Leia to the Milennium Falcon. That was my favorite Star Wars toy EVER. Anyway, Charlie was playing the parts of the Rebels and I got to be Vader and the Snowtroopers (I had more Snowtroopers and a Darth Vader with it's original lightsaber...this is how we decided who was what, don'tcha know). Just as he threw Han and Chewie into the cockpit and Leia and Threepio into the back, I tore down part of the Echo Base so I could get in with Vader and the Snowtroopers (doesn't that sound like a bad Alt Rock band? I'm so gonna remember that one). Right, bck to the story. Charlie gets the Falcon fired up just in the nick of time, right as Vader is about to lay waste to everything left in the bay. And I totally get to do the respirator noise...you know the one...*hoo-pahhh* *hoo-pahhh* while watching the falcon roar away to safety.
Man, I was one dorky kid. Don't even get me started on how the hedges outside my front yard doubled as the Forest Moon of Endor, or how the living room/hallway was the Death Star trench run. Because then I'll totally prove my total nerditude and certain friends will make fun of me. Then I'll be forced to remember who used to spin around hoping they would transform into Wonder Woman, won't I? That's right, guys. I know plenty of ghey ass things you all did. So don't you go making fun of the ghey ass things I did or I'll have to remember which boys would play Rainbow Brite. That's right. Back away from the snarky comments...we only play nice here.
Tee hee!
11 July, 2003 at 10:45 PM by Ren | Permalink
AND!
Springer to File Papers to Run for Senate
Can you imagine the Senate... "JER-RY! JER-RY!" oh man. too much.
Yo Ho, Yo Ho...
13 July, 2003 at 12:51 AM by Ren | Permalink
A pirate's life for me!
I saw two movies today. First off was the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Fun little piece of cinema fluff, indeed. Plus, Shane West all pissed off and killing people because his beloved Mandy Moore died in a Walk to Remember.
Second, I saw Pirates of the Caribbean. Holy cow, that was a good movie! I was totally expecting something hellalame, but it turned out REALLY good. Had tons of little jokes from the ride at the Disney parks too. . .like the pirates trying to get the keys from the dog, or the guy drinking himself to death, and the pirate chasing the wench. Very cute. Really good flick, I highly recommend. Plus, Orlando Bloom, and this chick who totally looks like Padme. Oh! and get this!! I'm totally into Johnny Depp's performance. I had no idea the man had such great comedic timing. Absolutely wonderful. Good movie. Pirates are the new ninjas!
Ok, time for bed! TTYL
HURRICANE!
15 July, 2003 at 08:11 AM by Ren | Permalink
Except not.
I'm here at work, because we still haven't had any rain or anything remotely threatening in terms of weather...although we all anticipate that to change by this afternoon.
So for right now, it's bright and sunny outside in balmy Kingsville, Texas.
The crazy thing was that this morning as I was driving out of Corpus Christi to get to work was that if you looked to the northeast it was grey-ass grey outside...but in the direction i was driving (southwest) it was sunny as all get out. Strange.
The wind has picked up a bit, but it's still pretty calm outside. No rain yet. I'll post more as I hear about it.
Yes, I know
21 July, 2003 at 04:57 PM by Ren | Permalink
Yes, I know it's been days since I last posted, but to my credit the Coastal Bend has suffered a Hurricane. Ok, so it was a crappy weenie hurricane, but a 'cane nonetheless.
Here's the short and skinny: the hurricane sucked balls, i mean we barely got any rain here at all and work kept me busy all last week with all this stupid hurricane nonsense; then, Saturday it was Tia Berta's birthday party...the party was fabulous until the end when the Beast couldnt' control his own goddamn drinking impulses and ended up licking Ray Liotta's evil, fat, gross twin's nipple. Sick dude, totally sick. Anyway, that was drama, but overall the party was good.
Then Sunday, Rollermog and I went to the movies to see Charlie's Angels: Full Breasted, err, full throttle. It was cute. You'll note that the tagline for my website is now a quote from the movie.
Uh, yeah. This is a totally disjoined post. I'll formulate my thoughts and work on something better for later.
Ciao.
Yeah, I'm sorry I'm not
23 July, 2003 at 09:31 PM by Ren | Permalink
Yeah, I'm sorry I'm not posting so much right now, but I'm right in the middle of a redesign of the University's main site.
What all that means is not to expect me to post too much for the next few days while I sort out all the hairy details of the new design templates.
A quick overview of the new site: It currently validates as XHTML 1.0 Transitional (woo!), is completely laid out using CSS (yes, that means table-less layout!) and reflects the new recruitment and internal marketing campaigns of the University. The site badly needed a makeover, and this is my chance. It also needed a major overhaul of some of the architecture of the file structure. This redesign addresses that, as well as makes some major improvements in back-end crap.
For instance, I'll be syndicating the news headlines via an RSS feed and then pulling them into my templates through a server-side include. This also means people not on www.tamuk.edu will be able to use my headlines on their sites too. How cool is that?
Anyway, I was intending to make this a short post, but I'm so freaking excited about the new design that I can't contain myself. When I unveil the new design, I'll post a link here so you can see for yourself.
Please remember to tip your waitress. Thanks!
Friday.
25 July, 2003 at 10:48 AM by Ren | Permalink
Alright, this morning is nearly gone, but I'm still chugging away at work. Woo!
First off, this is the funniest thing I've ever seen on Danny's website: http://www.livejournal.com/users/dan_dan81/29811.html
I'm so not adhering to the Thunderpuss rule. Everyone knows how much I absolutely love Thunderpuss. Besides, I'm still waiting for "Clarke - Trumpet Voluntary in D-Major (Thunderpuss Anthem Mix)" to come out. When it does, that is *so* the processional in my wedding.
Anyway, a Friday Five for lack of anything interesting in my life to put up:
- If your life were a movie, what would the title be?
Currently at this point in my life: 936 days and 936 nights. Think about it. - What songs would be on the soundtrack?
Oh hell, there would be too many. My soundtrack would be like the Dirty Dancing Soundtrack...you know where it comes in two volumes. I'll have to think much longer about what to narrow it down to. - Would it be a live-action film or animated? Why?
Both. All the main action would be done live action; Jar Jar Binks will be animated. So will the dream sequences. - Casting: who would play you, members of your family, friends, etc?
I would be played by a previously unknown hollywood newcomer. . .or Josh Hartnett. The love of my life would be portrayed by Matty D, of course (the love scene between Josh and Matty D would be one of the hottest scenes in Cinema, ever...and that's the only reason i'd use him as me! heh) uh... Rollermog would be played by Sarah Michelle Gellar; Krysdol would be Michelle Phieffer (the eyes, quoth Rollermog); Freaky would be played by shit, i dunno. I'll cast later. Check back later. - Describe the movie preview/trailer.
It woudl portray my life as a comedy. Nothing outlandish, or Airplane wacky, but funny nonetheless.
Everyone just walked into my office, I've got to go.