January 2004
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Goddawggit!
12 January, 2004 at 11:07 PM by Ren | Permalink
Tarier messed up my blog.
Not really, she just posted a comment and it reset all the posts. On the upside, she has now motivated me to post within the next day with something more uh...substancial.
I am not at liberty to say what happened during New Year's weekend as the Beast has me sworn to secrecy. Fabulous time though. Fabulous.
I'll figure out something to say tomorrow, or later in the week, or whenever.
Whatever.
later.
Poetry from a Friday morning
16 January, 2004 at 11:05 AM by Ren | Permalink
I know I'm being really crappy about posting lately, but seriously, nothing interesting has gone on in my life lately. It's all work, no play, no time for anything except getting speeding tickets and eating buffalo wings (yum!). So, in an attempt to make something boring into something funny, we're attempting Haiku today (because everything is funny when it's in measured syllables.):
- Haiku for a speeding ticket
Speeding tickets suck.
Would have preferred a warning.
I hate you, dumb cop. - Haiku for too much work
Never any time!
I'm so excited, I'm so
ex-cit...I'm so scared. - Haiku for you, Rollermog
I need to get laid.
Crap, I can't bitch anymore
Never mind, Andrew. - Haiku for Sandy Cohen
Peter Gallagher
Your eyebrows are so divine
Don't ever pluck them. - I hate you, Marissa Cooper
I hate you, Cooper.
Please leave Ry alone, then die.
Thank you, a show fan. - Dump that bitch, Marissa
Ryan, dump that bitch
She is into Oliver.
Maybe you try Luke? - Haiku for Buffalo Wings
Mmm, Buffalo wings.
Eat them with ranch or bleu cheese.
Eat them with beer, Yum! - Why you don't call anymore, bitch?
Remember the phone?
You might try calling sometime.
Don't be an asshat. - Haiku for iTunes
iTunes, I love you.
You organize my music;
Brushed metal goodness.
Right. There we go. That sums up my week in a nutshell. Sorry about all The O.C. Haiku, but I freaking love that show, and I am tired of Marissa being a dumbshit and fucking Ryan over. Also, Peter Gallagher has magnificent eyebrows. I had to write about them.
Ding Dong the Loser's Dead!
21 January, 2004 at 06:38 PM by Ren | Permalink
Good news everyone!
Loser-alcoholic-asshole-boyfriend is gone! In jail even! For attempting assualt on my mom and Nut. Because seriously, nothing says loser-alcoholic-asshole better than trying to beat up an eight year old child. So to you Tim Anderson, I say GO FUCK YOURSELF! Thank you!
Mom seems to be doing quite well considering the emotional trauma. Nut appears to be pretty good himself. I don't know how Brother Formerly Known as Crackhead is though. I haven't talked to him yet. But everyone seems to be doing oK.
I'm rather dandy, now that Loser-alcoholic-asshole-boyfriend is gone. I'm a little sad though, as I'll have to find something new to focus my bitter resentments towards. I've got one or two people in mind, I'll keep you posted. Right-o. I'm gonna go now, I've got some web designs to work on and I'd better get started.
Can't sleep
23 January, 2004 at 02:44 AM by Ren | Permalink
I dont' know what's wrong with me. I can't sleep. I've been like this all week. It's not the drama with mom or anything I don't think. I'm just in a weird mood and I can't sleep.
I've got some things on my mind, but they're not really something that would keep me awake all night. They haven't done this before, so why it would start now is beyond me. That's why I don't think it's that. I'm not drinking too much caffeine; mostly I drink juice and water nowadays.
I don't know.
Anyway, right now I'm talking to Rollermog, and he's claiming that I can't sleep because I haven't posted to my weblog while listening to my most horrendous download yet...the theme to Doogie Howser, M.D.
Yes. The theme to Doogie Howser, M.D. Don't judge.
It's playing right now. I wish my weblog looked like oldschool word perfect...with the blue screen and the serif font in grey. Man that would be awesome.
Ok, back to trying to sleep.
Getting ahead of myself
23 January, 2004 at 03:18 AM by Ren | Permalink
Getting a little ahead of myself, I'm posting up a Friday Five before 8 am.
At this moment, what is your favorite...
- song?
If you look at my iTunes playlist, the most played song on it is Hey Ya, by Outkast. So I guess that, or number two choice All Things (Just Keep Getting Better) by Widelife...strangely number three is Faith by George Michael. All very good songs. One of those three. Just pick one. - food?
my mom's cold rice. It's really good hot and stuff, but it's even better when it's been left to cool off for a few hours. Mmmmm...room temperature rice. Dont' judge. My mommy loves me enough that when I go visit and she makes rice, she leaves it out on the stove for me to eat late at night when its nice and cold. mmmmmmmmm - tv show?
The O.C. Duh. - scent?
Swiss Army cologne. Yes, they don't just make those cool knives. They make scents too! - quote?
Tomorrow do your worst, for I have lived today. Someday I'll actually pay better attention to that quote and live by it a little better, but for now, it's just a pretty good quote that I like.
Seriously
26 January, 2004 at 11:34 AM by Ren | Permalink
you guys need to stop me from watching too much VH1. Especially when I'm sitting right next to my computer and free music is but two clicks away. Because of VH1, I'm now listening to the theme from the Jeffersons. There's something really funny and decidedly perverse about actually *seeking* out the theme from the Jeffersons. Although all things considered, it's not as bad as say...downloading the theme from Doogie Howser. Shut up. You can't judge.
So this weekend was uber-fabulous. By fabulous I mean on Saturday I was so drunk I don't remember making friends with some lesbian couple at the club (thanks Krysdol!). So that's always a good time. Two weekends in a row...that's pretty crazy for me considering how often I go out anymore. It was good to be out again, I had a blast even if there are parts of Saturday night I don't remember. Curse you Vodka and Club Soda! But also, I heart you! May your warm and smooth embrace fill my soul with inebriated delights until I take my last breath.
Of course, Sunday, I paid the ultimate price for my excessive consumption of libations. Hangover ensued. Luckily it wasn't a bad one, just some wicked bad headaches and a seriously upset stomach. Hey, I look at it this way: I paid the ultimate price for an evening of delicious debauchery.
The rest of Sunday was spent watching VH1 with Sgt Pepper and eating pizza. It's kind of funny, Pep and I were watching the same thing just in two far flung cities. It was kind of like how when you were in high school and you'd call friends and talk on the phone and then watch TV shows together, but on the phone and not sitting on the couch together. Oh, you guys didn't do that?
Whatever. Don't judge.
Weird
27 January, 2004 at 03:11 PM by Ren | Permalink
I experienced one of the weirder moments in my life yesterday. Now, I won't lie, I watch a good amount of TV. Whenever I'm at home, and conscious, I have the TV on--whether I'm watching or just have it on for the noise, I have it on. That's beside the point.
Anyway, Last night I'm watching TV before I go to bed and I'm flipping through the channels. 11:00 hits and for whatever reason, 11:00 p.m. in Corpus Christi means all the cable stations simultaneously run Blind Date, the 5th Wheel and Elimidate. I really couldn't tell you the difference between any of them, but I suspect my partner in reality television crime, Krysdol, could. Right, well of course, since this is on every friggen' channel at the same time, you simply cannot avoid it. I end up stopping on the 5th Wheel right as they introduce 'the fifth wheel' who is some kind of rocket scientist for JPL.
Sadly, this is not the most bizarre part of the fifth wheel. I mean, you'd think a fucking rocket scientist would be smart enough to *not* appear on a dating show...but you'd apparently be wrong. Because there she was. A rocket scientist. On the Fifth Wheel. They interview Miss rocket scientist (her name was Elizabeth) and she admits to having a special power in addition to her mad crazy calculus-ass-kicking skillz. She can orgasm (yes, I said that right) from someone kissing her on the neck. I have to admit, this caught my attention. It's then that I look at the person on the television and I instantly recognize the face on the screen.
I went to high school with Miss Elizabeth, the fabulous orgasming rocket scientist. You would think she would have been brainy enough to use an alias, but apparently rocket scientists aren't shy. They also seem to climax rather easily, so go figure. I sure got that all wrong, didn't I? I simply couldn't believe it. I had to reference my yearbook. It was her! Betty Quintanilla. On the Fifth Wheel! Talking about her incredible orgasming neck! She was always a little peculiar, but seriously. I had no idea.
Well now I was hooked. I was now one degree removed from reality TV debauchery. Long story short: she never orgasmed from someone kissing her rocket scientist neck (although she said about 20 seconds more from one of the guys and she would have launched into outer space) and picked the other guy who challenged her 'intellectually' because you know, nothing is more intellectual than a reality show contestant.
Seeing her being a rocket scientist and a dating show contestant really makes me wonder what the rest of the Carroll High School Class of 1994 is up to. I can't wait for my reunion now.
Friday Five
30 January, 2004 at 02:51 PM by Ren | Permalink
A fun little friday five for you guys. This one came realtively easy for me.
You have just won one million dollars:
- Who do you call first?
Dur. Mom. - What is the first thing you buy for yourself?
iPod! iPod! iPod! iPod! iPod! iPod! iPod! iPod! iPod! iPod! iPod! iPod! iPod! iPod! iPod! iPod! iPod! iPod! iPod! iPod! iPod! iPod! iPod! iPod! Yeah. An iPod is first on my list. - What is the first thing you buy for someone else?
A new car for Krysdol. Girlfriend needs a new set of wheels. Bad. - Do you give any away? If yes, to whom?
Yes. I give a bunch to mom. She needs a new set of wheels too. And a fabulous new outlook on life. Especially now that Loser-Asshole-Alcoholic-Boyfriend is nowhere to be found. Oh wait, yes he is. He's in JAIL. - Do you invest any? If so, how?
Yes, yes I do. Don't ask me how to invest it though. This is why my father has a degree in finance and I just have one in music.
Have a fantabulous, funderful weekend!
Now that I've paid a ticket I got I will. Except I won't because it took all my money. Fucking Nueces County. Bastards. I'll talk about it later. I'm still hurt about the whole ordeal.