February 2004
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2/3/4
03 February, 2004 at 01:40 PM by Ren | Permalink
If you hadn't noticed, today is a day where the numerical representation of the day ends up with three integers in succesive order (2-3-4). Not really important, just interesting.
I went to San Antonio this weekend to visit Dad since it was his birthday and his girlfriend was throwing him a surprise party. She cooked and everything, and I thought the food was good, but apparently it wasn't. She was trying to poison me! I spent all yesterday puking my guts out ridding my body of the vicious toxins.
She must have done it on Sunday before the Superbowl. She fixed my father and I plates of food to eat before the game. It was then that I'm convinced she put the iocaine (it's odorless and tasteless) powder in my food and poisoned me. It took a while for it to kick in, mainly because I've spent a lifetime building up an immunity to it (it's a tip I picked up from the Dread Pirate Roberts).
I made it home oK, and even got to bed at a reasonable hour. It was about 2:30 in the morning though, when I woke up from a dream in which I was ridiculously nauseated, only to wake up to be ridiculously nauseated.
I stumbled over to my bathroom and let loose. Torrents of vomitous matter spewed forth from my mouth. It was tons of fun let me tell you. So from about 2:45 in the morning til I'd say 9 a.m. I was puking up anything that resided inside my body. After about 4 in the morning I was able to go to sleep, only waking up every hour or so to run to the bathroom and puke some more.
At 9:15 a.m. I restuffed my pancreas back into my body (that shit's important, yo). Then fell asleep for good until about 6 p.m. I didn't eat much yesterday seeing as how my body wasn't having anything to do with solid matter. Hell, I couldn't even keep a glass of water down. I started having mad chills though, so I jumped back into bed and fell asleep until this morning at which time I came to work.
I've since eaten some chicken mc nuggets and they haven't decided to ride the rollercoaster out of my stomach, so I guess I'm doing oK.
What a F*cking week
06 February, 2004 at 02:14 PM by Ren | Permalink
It's been a ridiculously hard week this week. I think I might die. Honestly. From being sick on Monday to trying to keep up with work the rest of the week--I didn't think I could pull it off. It was also leading to me being very ... uncouth ... with people. Now that the week is over, I'm hoping I can get over it all.
I've been so busy with work, I simply haven't had time for anything personal. So yeah, my professional life is taking over my personal one. A highlight though: I found out today that this logo that I designed has won an ADDY. Rockin' like Dokken! Best part of it all is that Rollermog won an ADDY too, and that MALICE, the evil graphic artist for the university, won absolutely nothing. I really know I'm a shit for gloating over that fact, but honestly. . .the woman doesn't even try to do anything exciting with her design. I'm not saying I'm the bomb-diggety, but at least I put forth some effort.
Oh well, I still have about a million other pictures to scan and place so I'm going to go take care of those...TTYL.
Yay! Go me for winning an ADDY! Go Rollermog too!
Grammys
09 February, 2004 at 11:43 AM by Ren | Permalink
I won't lie. I only watched parts of the Grammys last night. However, I do have this to say. Hey Ya! realized as indian dance complete with marching band? Bloody brilliant! Justin Timberlake apologizing for pulling off Janet's bustier? Well, it wouldn't be the first time a Jackson mistreated a boy, now would it? Celine Dion's mic failing her? I would have been TERRIFIED to bring that replacement mic out to her...can you imagine the tantrum she threw after she got off stage?
You know she did, that woman is a diva. DEE-VA.
I also managed to watch an entire episode of Sex and the City (Miranda and Carrie got into a fight!!!) and an episode of the Simpsons AND do some laundry. Go me.
Oh. I also called my mom. I'm totally with it. I rule.
I wish
09 February, 2004 at 03:43 PM by Ren | Permalink
I wish I had seen these Grammy awards. They sound much more entertaining than the ones I watched.
F#ck Valentine's Day
11 February, 2004 at 02:22 PM by Ren | Permalink
I hate Valentine's day.
Therefore, I haven't decorated my website with Valentine's crap. I have instead opted to celebrate that most debaucherous of all holidays, Carnival! Or as we Americans know it, Mardi Gras. The Krewe of Tasta will be holding it's annual parade sometime soon.
Lundi Gras is 23 February; Mardi Gras is 24 February. Laissez les bon temps roulette! Also, if any of you are willing to show me your goods for some favors, I'm game.
Design Off
11 February, 2004 at 09:05 PM by Ren | Permalink
So I've been spending a lot of time watching VH1 lately and I'm totally hooked on their new show Best Week Ever. Anyway this week they were talking about the new celebrity phenonemon of Dance Offs. A curious happening, indeed. But even stranger, is our presumed fascination with such events.
I, for one, would like to see all problems solved with a Dance Off. Can you imagine if instead of going to war, W challenged Saddam to a Dance Off? We'd surely see some weapons of mass destruction there, wouldn't we?
Right, my point, and I do have one is that last night, while watching Best Show Ever, Rollermog and I thought that one day we should have a dance off. Only being the total design nerds we are, we'd have a design off.
It starts off with both of us putting our computers back to back and plug our monitors into a third monitor, so everyone can see what's going on. Then, we start designing our asses off using such programs as Illustrator or Photoshop.
It will be a stellar show. Battle of the Vector Graphics. Photoshopping the wrinkles out of faces. Cleaning up blemishes. Outlining Strokes. Oh yeah. I went there.
While we were laughing about the whole thing, Rollermog said the best part would be when our Design Off play-by-play guy shouts "OH. MY. Ladies and Gentlemen, Rollermog is about to double stroke that text headline...he. HE DID IT!" The astounded watchers on would start shouting, cheering, doing cartwheels and speaking in tongues.
Rollermog would push off of his chair, point a finger at me and shout "That's right bitch. I went there. You just got served."
First Bennifer, now Barbie!
12 February, 2004 at 03:53 PM by Ren | Permalink
(February 12, 2004) After being his beard for the last 43 years, Barbie Millicent Roberts is calling it quits with Ken. Sources indicate that officially the couple is splitting up because of Ken's reluctance to marry, but admit privately that the real reason is Ken's desire to persue either a marriage or civil union with longtime boyfriend G.I. Joe and Barbie's longtime affairs with both Luke and Anakin Skywalker 12" action figures.
Spokesdolls for both Ken and Barbie have released statements regarding the distribution of mutually held property. For instance, Ken will keep the Dream Townhouse in the city while Barbie will get the lush Talking Dream House and its sprawling expansive estate in the country. Other properties such as vehicles will also be divided equally.
Sources close to Ken and Barbie add that the couple split amicably, citing Ken's need to "be himself" and Barbie's longtime desire to be a bride were incompatible with the 'friends without benefits' relationship they had shared for so many years. Associates also note that Ken will still come over for sleep-overs and to give Barbie fashion advice--even a quick makeover whenever she has a big job interview or a hot date with other popular doll or action figures.
On the heels of this earth-shattering announcement other popular dolls have decided to come out. Sources, who wish to remain unlinked, have also posited to that 80's pop culture icon Jem, of Jem and the Holograms, may admit to being bisexual--going so far as to claim an on-again/off-again relationship with pop bad-girl Cristina Aguilera.
XTina was unavailable for comment at the time this article went to press. Spokesmen for XTina did add, however that Jem's allegations were "truly outrageous."
A Bitter Valentine
14 February, 2004 at 12:37 AM by Ren | Permalink
As if I'd actually post a happy Valentine. Here we go:
For making me believe that you were sincere, that you meant what you said, that maybe, just maybe you'd keep all those promises: fuck you for that.
That I spent so much of my life waiting, that I wasted so much time on you, that you made me believe that if I just waited a little longer, maybe you'd finally come around: fuck you for wasting so much of my time.
For thinking about no one besides yourself and for thinking that you could have it both ways with me: fuck you for being so goddamn selfish.
That you managed to take one of the strongest friendships I'd ever forged in my life and squander it: Fuck you for that.
For choosing what feels like anyone BUT me, fuck you.
Thinking that I had found someone who thought I was pretty important only to figure out I wasn't all that important after all; fuck you for making me think I mattered.
That you'd even dare to think you're any better than that shithead Bradley or for me getting this angry, this bitter about the whole thing: Fuck you a thousand times.
And even though it's not really your fault that I have no other Valentine on this holiday, fuck you for that too.
Comments can be emailed directly to me.
Barbie seen in racy 'Dance Off'
16 February, 2004 at 02:54 PM by Ren | Permalink
Fresh out of her breakup with longtime companion Ken, Barbie made an appearance this Valentines Day at her Barbie Dream Nightclub 'PlastiQuE' only to find it had been overrun by a crowd of Bratz figurines. What happened next can only be described as surreal.
Tired of hearing put-downs from the diminuitive, yet repulsive, dolls Barbie challenged the Bratz to a Dance Off.
Onlookers said that Barbie performed spectacularly, utilizing dance moves perfected during her stint in the mid-80's band Barbie and the Rockers. Many said the Bratz were stunned into submission by Barbie's effective use of big hair and costume accessories.
Said 'NSync doll Joey Fatone, "Barbie was in the zone last night, she was breakin' it down funky style! I hadn't seen dolls do that kind of choerography since we were used in the Bye, Bye, Bye video." Added longtime club goer and Star Trek: Classic action figure Captain James T. Kirk, "She danced...like an Antaerean. Slave Girl. She double-fist punched...those Bratz. backintotheir. Place."
The Bratz attempted to retaliate, but were shut out by the far more talented fashion doll. "If she [Barbie] kept up that Dance Off any longer, the Bratz would have been reduced to stealing moves from that one video the Grateful Dead did...you know, the one with the skeletons in it? Then their careers would have been as dead as mine" pointed out former New Kid on the Block Doll Joey McIntyre.
Shortly after the very humbling Dance Off, the Bratz were invited to stay in the club, provided they stop hitting on He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, except for Beast-Man, because he needed to feel better about himself.
Qveer Eye
20 February, 2004 at 12:57 PM by Ren | Permalink
I really don't have much to say today, so I won't bother. This week has been yet another week of pure, concentrated hell. It seems the work will never end!
Hey mister, throw me something!
23 February, 2004 at 11:15 AM by Ren | Permalink
Well, since I don't have that digital camera yet, I can't show you guys dirty pictures of various parts of my anatomy (not that you'd really want to see, but still) so I'm posting this up instead. I made a smart playlist in iTunes and limited it to 50 tracks selected at random, which I'm now posting here for you to see.
Just so you know, I didn't edit anything out to prevent you from seeing any...embarrassing tracks. So without further ado, here's my "hey mister, give me some beads, i'm showin' you something" for Lundi Gras 2004:
- Just Kickin' It - Xcape
- Maria, Maria - Santana
- Gravity Gets Things Done - The Pale
- The Flame - Cheap Trick
- think about the way - Ice MC
- On the Run - Mark Ronson, Mos Def & M.O.P.
- Freedom '90 - George Michael
- No Scrubs - TLC
- One Thing Leads To Another - The Fixx
- She Blinded Me With Science - Thomas Dolby
- Soul Bossa Nova - Quincy Jones and His Orchestra
- They're Playing our Song - Javelina Marching Band
- If it don't fit (Thunderpuss Club Mix) - Abagail
- Take A Chance On Me - Erasure
- Ciegasordomuda -Shakira
- Unforgiven - Apocalyptica
- Razorblade - Blue October
- Adia - Sarah McLachlan
- Starry Eyed Surprise (feat. Crazytown) - Paul Oakenfold
- Drive - Incubus
- Theme from "Fame"
- Two Times - Ann Lee
- Pass the Dutchie - Musical Youth
- Jus 1 Kiss - Basement Jaxx
- Get Out of My Dreams (Get Into My Car) - Billy Ocean
- Yellow Submarine - The Beatles
- Time To Rock (Extended Mix) - Gabry Ponte
- I Try - Macy Gray
- Crazy For This Girl - Evan and Jaron
- Marcha De Zacatecas - Luis Cobos
- Just Another Day - Vallejo
- Nobles of the Mystic Shrine - John Philip Sousa
- (Hep! Hep!) The Jumpin' Jive - Cab Calloway
- Y Yo Sigo Aquí - Paulina Rubio
- Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band - The Beatles
- Overture To Candide - Leonard Bernstein
- Mambo Jambo - Perez Prado And His Orchestra
- Man in the Mirror - Michael Jackson
- Tragic Kingdom - No Doubt
- Murder On The Dancefloor - Sophie Ellis Bextor
- Cheekah Bow Bow (The Computer Song) - Vengaboys
- Even The Nights Are Better - Air Supply
- How Will I Know? - Whitney Houston
- We Like to Party - Vengaboys
- Master of Puppets - Apolcalyptica
- Strike It Up - Black Box
- Don't Stop - ATB
- La Vida es Una Carnaval - Celia Cruz
- Cant Get Enough Of You, Baby - Smash Mouth
- You Make Me Sick (Hex Hector Mix) - Pink
Don't laugh at my music list. It's selected at random. : P That's 50 selections out of a catalog of something like 1600. What's surprising is how few Thunderpuss remixes showed up there. Crazy.
Aww Crap
23 February, 2004 at 02:47 PM by Ren | Permalink
Aww crap. As if I hadn't been sick enough this winter, you just know that some friggen chicken is going to sneeze on me and I'm gonna get hellasick. I know I don't even hang around poultry, but somehow, someway some damn bird is going to infect me. I just know it.
Now that I think on it a little, it's probably going to be those evil pigeons that live on my patio and have never forgiven me for the death of their children.
Happy Mardi Gras!
24 February, 2004 at 03:18 PM by Ren | Permalink
Happy Mardi Gras everyone! I'm hoping that all of you are wearing beads in anticipation of hearing "hey mister, throw me something!" and suddenly I'm the person with power...doling out plastic beads for pseudo-sexual favors. Fun!
Hot!
In other news, I'm so glad someone finally had the balls to talk about these guys. They scare the pants off me. I totally fall into the category of "you've got to be kidding me" mainly because I prefer my anthropomorphic flying mammals to be feline and sing about gay bars.
W and the issue of marriage
25 February, 2004 at 10:20 AM by Ren | Permalink
There's so many things I need to weigh in on that I just can't pick one and go with it.
I could write about how fabulous the final episode of Sex and the City was, or I could talk about this crazy lady whose eyes pointed in two completely different directions and wanted to borrow my cell phone so she could call herself a cab...
But instead, I'm going to talk about our President, George the Lesser. See, I never really had a big problem with Dubya while he was Governor of Texas, because in all actuality, the Governor has no real power in Texas. Hell, he doesn't even have to sign a bill for it to become law in Texas. The Lt. Governor sets the agenda for debate in the legislature, so in all reality, it's not the Governor who has most of the power. Anyway, lately George the Lesser has been going way conservative; something I'm not particularly fond of.
I can understand his defense of marriage--he's a pretty conservative guy after all. And we all know how sacred marriage is. I mean, you get married and stay married for the rest of your life, right? Well, that's what you're supposed to do anyway; screw the fact that most marriages don't last. Marriage is sacrosanct and we must keep pretending that it's something very, very special.
In all honesty, I really dont' care what you call a gay marriage. Call it a freaking conjoining of cocksmokers (or conjoining of carpetmunchers for all you same-sex oriented ladies out there) for all I care...I just want to guarantee a gay couple the same rights and priveleges (and ability to royally screw up and divorce) that the breeders do.
See, the Gays don't want to destroy marriage, the straights have already done that for us. The Gays, they just want to be boring and normal like everyone else, what with the 2.5 kids and the cat and dog. It's hard to be uber-fabulous 24/7 (all that coture is expensive, girl!). Getting married would allow the Gays to get out of their beautifully appointed loft apartments in the cities, move to the suburbs and just let themselves go (it's hard to look cosmically fabulous every day!). Also, the Gays, they want the right to register their weddings (remember kids, a vote for gay marriage is a vote for a fabulous economy!).
But that's not what I'm talking about today. See, George the Lesser has apparently taken offense to other uses of the word marriage. Mr. President, I object to this statement-- it just goes too far. When will all the madness end?! I'm now fully convinced that those damn Christians won't stop until Roy leaves Silo.