April 2004
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wow
06 April, 2004 at 01:25 PM by Ren | Permalink
Words simply cannot describe these things.
In other news, I've discovered what may be an unholy alliance forming between neighbor boy who bangs his girlfriend REALLY good and cuh-rappa-tha-rappa.
Saturday, I was taking groceries into my house and I saw two delicious looking snacks coming down from the next breezeway. Having never actually SEEN Neighbor Boy, I assumed this was him and his friend...they walked right on over to cuh-rappa's place and knocked on the door.
'Dear lord!' I thought, 'they're trying to score pot! And then listen loudly to rap music!'
No good can come of this alliance. None.
Easter frisking
07 April, 2004 at 12:40 PM by Ren | Permalink
You know, I'm not a particularly religious person (well, with organized religion that is) but I think this is just disgusting. When the freaking Pope is frisking pilgrims visiting for Easter weekend, there's something seriously wrong with the world. Seriously.
Thanks, George the Lesser! You've really made this a much better, safer world for us to live in. Seriously. Good job, buddy.
yeah yeah yeah
14 April, 2004 at 11:13 AM by Ren | Permalink
Yes, I do realize it's been a week since I wrote anything which means now that I'm actually writing something, it's going to be totally crappy since I haven't done this writing thing in days.
I've got plenty to tell you about though.
I think I totally forgot to mention my dad was getting married. In fact, I'm sure I forgot. Oops. Yeah, Dad got married this past weekend. My Grenmo, a great aunt and my aunt, uncle and two cousins came to San Antonio for the big event.
It's always good to see my family, but if I have to hear about how fat I am from my aunt one more time, I swear to God, I'm going to scream. Seriously, I realize I don't weigh 140# like I did when I was in college but do you have to make a big deal about it every time I see you? It's not like I'm not aware of the fact that I weigh more.
Oh, and also, I could probably go the rest of my life without certain family members asking me if I have a girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend. Isn't it obvious? No, I won't be bringing a guest to the wedding either; sorry to dissapoint you. It's not Ren plus one. It's just Ren. It doesn't seem to bother my father too much, so it shouldn't bother you either.
That said, overall it was good to see my family, though I could do with out the nagging. It makes me feel like I'm some kind of dissapointment because I'm not what they expect. And that sucks.
Bad news about the wedding though: I need a new name for my dad's girlfriend now that she's his wife and not a heavy drinker either. Step-whore is just too mean, even though I'd mean it in jest; I actually like her. Maybe Stepbitch? Or something classic like "my Wicked Stepmother"?
I'll be posting pictures of the blissful event as soon as I get some more of them. I've got a couple of them ready to go now, but I'd really like to get some others from Pop and my Wicked Stepmother before I put them all up although I'm considering adding the cute ones of me, Pop, Nut, and Brother formerly known as Crackwhore. But I'll do that later. It takes time to come up with captions and I'm thinking about finally taking the plunge and putting my photo galleries in MT--a process I'm sure will take me some time to do.
Anyway, that is me up to this point. One last thing before I go. Get this: someone actually linked to my Idiot's Music Dictionary. Isn't that crazy? So I'm linking back to Andy M's Konspiracy Korner of Koolness because he's Kool and linked to my dictionary.
Entry Six Hundred!
16 April, 2004 at 11:26 AM by Ren | Permalink
First off: go see Kill Bill if you haven't seen it. That movie kicks ass. I can't believe I missed it in theaters. Thanks everyone's schedule being all messed up!
Secondly: The other night I was awakened by my Hot Sex Neighbor. He had his woman straight screaming. Seriously. Screaming. I had never heard a woman moan in pleasure like that before (and don't go for the obvious joke there, bastards). He was quite satisfied too as I heard him in the sounds of passion as well. It was so loud it woke me up at 3 in the morning. I laughed, heard the headboard hit the wall once or twice, him moan really loud, her scream, laughed again and went to sleep. You go Hot Sex Neighbor.
Finally, time for a friday five:
- What do you do for a living?
I work as a web designer for Texas A&M University-Kingsville. It's not nearly as glamourous as you'd think. Mostly I update catalogs and post news releases. However, I have won a few awards for my crack work. - What do you like most about your job?
The fact that for the most part, I get to do what I please; I also like that I'm constantly given the opportunity to try something new, and get a lot of time to develop new skills (even if they might make me very marketable to the private sector). I also like working with all our college students in our office. They crack me up. And Sherry. She's my bad-attitude twin. - What do you like least about your job?
Dumb-ass people. You'd be surprised how many are in academia. It's ri-donk-ulous. - When you have a bad day at work it's usually because _____...
See above. It's when they ask me for something retarded. And then demand instant gratification. Fucking dumb-ass people. - What other career(s) are you interested in?
While I'm not looking to get a new job right now, some careers that have always interested me: music teacher, college professor, some kind of wealthy entrepeneur with lots of money to burn (and also a very blaze` attitude), professional booze hound, porn star (but my weener's way too small, so scratch that idea).
So this is my six hundredth entry since I started writing in this thing back in 2001. Wow. Long time. Have a good weekend. I'm going to be playing with my camera. And possibly working on putting up pictures from my dad's wedding. Maybe. I'm lazy after all.
Bond, James Bond
17 April, 2004 at 12:47 AM by Ren | Permalink
I hate falling asleep really early only to wakt up at midnight and not be able to go back to sleep. However, it allows me to find comedy gold like this salon.com article about the latest James Bond video game (It's a premium content feature, so you'll have to watch a lame-ass commercial to view the whole review).
Only in the world of James Bond can a silhouette of a woman brandishing a crossbow be sexy.
Have truer words ever been spoken? I think the only thing hotter than weapon-wielding naked silohuetted women would be Matty D's silohuette gyrating with a lightsaber (duh. this is me we're talking about) while making out with Ashton Kutcher's lithe silohuette. Oh, and Ashton's silohuette is throwing money at me. And punking Justin Timberlake if you know what I mean...
That's definitely hotter. But maybe not sexier...
Grr!
19 April, 2004 at 01:32 PM by Ren | Permalink
I'm not ready to upgrade just yet. DAMMIT.
A new phrase
19 April, 2004 at 03:10 PM by Ren | Permalink
Those who know me well, know I have a lot of phrases and sayings that uniquely identify me as me.
Hell, I was once in Dallas and said "Dirty!" and was immediately identified as "oh, you're THAT Ren. It's your fault our family says that now."
So to that end, I'm adding a new phrase to my daily lexicon:
Let's motor.
I dont' know why, but I think that's just a cute phrase. It makes me think of some really bad detective show where one partner says to his buddy "Let's motor," and they both jump into the car--possibly through the windows--and the show's theme song starts blaring.
I'm going to try it out for a few days and see how it fits. It's definitely no "Nobody puts baby in the corner." or "That's it; drink your juice, Shelby." but it does have it's own charm all the same.
Dear God. save us all
19 April, 2004 at 04:49 PM by Ren | Permalink
Remember the guys dressed up as Thundercats?
This is by far MUCH worse.
From all over
20 April, 2004 at 11:04 AM by Ren | Permalink
I really don't have much to say this morning, so instead I'll post some wacky links for you guys.
First off: Ladies and Gentlemen, Miss Stevie Nicks. It's actually not really Stevie Nicks, but rather a collection of some woman's art that just *happens* to look like you and Miss Stevie Nicks posed for an oil on canvas, natch, inspired by Miss Stevie Nicks. This is definitely up there with people dressing like Tron and Thundercats.
I was trying to find a link about how Spain is going to allow gay marriages because I find it absurd that our country wouldn't do the same, especially when you consider just how Catholic Spain is. And they allow it there. But not here. We're preserving the sanctity of marriage here. Yeah. That's it.
Next, there's a rumor bouncing around the campus about who will be the next Chancellor of the university system. The most interesting name being thrown around is that of Secretary of State Colin Powell. Granted, this is a stretch, because seriously? Why on earth would he move to Texas? Still, that would be pretty cool if it happened. Besides, it's not like Powell appears interested in keeping his position in that administration of champions, the Bush Administration.
Finally, Five years? Wow.
21 April, 2004 at 12:32 PM by Ren | Permalink
Oww. Seriously. Oww.
Crazy Michael Jackson, Gay Marriage and Homosaurs
22 April, 2004 at 10:28 AM by Ren | Permalink
Hooray for Britain! See! It's good enough for the limeys--we shouldn't have a problem with it. Those degenerate Europeans are on to something.
In other news, Crazy Michael Jackson indicted. Bout time. Now, personally, I don't think he gave boys the dirty touch--I don't think he'd do anything to harm a child. Rather, I think he sees nothing wrong with having boys sleep over...because that's what boys do. When they're 12. And apparently Crazy Michael Jackson thinks he's a 12 year old boy. So that means that he's a freak, just not a pervert.
Lack of Females May Have Done In Dinosaurs. I wholeheartedly disagree. In fact, I believe it led to a fabulous class of dinosaurs--the homosaurs. Gay dinosaurs who paraded around the primeval Earth giving advice on fashion ("Want to attract the perfect mate? Try growing FEATHERS!"), culture ("What you really want to try is sharing the responsibility for watching the nest--she needs her time too!"), food ("Carnivores are so last year; everyone who's anyone is an omnivore this season."), decorating ("Looking for that perfect accessory for your nest? Try a mammal-skin rug!") and skin/hair ("You know, if you have a problem with scaly skin...oh wait. we're dinosaurs. Never mind."). They'd travel around the east coast of Pangaea helping clueless male heterosexual dinosaurs find the ever elusive female--it's all about propagating the species after all.
They'd be fierce, but in a totally different way.
It's too bad the homosaurs aren't around now, they could probably help out this rhino. My biggest worry is what rhino man-milk does to the paint on a car. I'm sure it's not good. Thank God all I have to worry about are friggen seagulls and evil pigeons and not rhinocerous Dirk Diggler. Although I do have some size queen friends who might be interested. You know who I'm talking about.
*blink*
28 April, 2004 at 09:12 AM by Ren | Permalink
um.
Johnny Rotten wants Justin Timberlake to play him in an upcoming movie. I don't even know where to begin on what's wrong with that above sentence. I do believe, however, that we may have just entered a parallel universe.
Even more bizarre is the fact that Pink is playing Janis Joplin in a movie about her life.
The only good that can possibly come from this is that Penelope Spheeris--the director of such film masterpieces as Wayne's World and Fast Times at Ridgemont High--is pegged to direct Rotten's film (once she finishes the Janis movie). I'm not really sure whether to be excited, or scared.
Whoa.
30 April, 2004 at 04:01 PM by Ren | Permalink
*blink*
Matrix co-creator is ready for the sex-change operation that will finalize his conversion to a woman named Linda. Scroll down and you'll see the horrific news.
Whoa. Guess he took the Blue pill.
Oh, and just to apologize for not posting so much lately--i'm in the midst of rebuilding the university's website and it's very slow. Especially without the convenience of a test server to try it all out on. When it's done, it will be far superior to the current site, and start making real use of the server's capabilities. So if it's a few before I post again, that's why.