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November 2004

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Vote Early, and Vote Often!

02 November, 2004 at 01:22 PM by Ren | Permalink

Some of you may not know this, but today we're having an election for President of the United States (POTUS in Secret Service speak), so I encourage everyone to vote.

I know many of you are probably tired of the campaign--I am too--but all you gotta do is vote and it'll be over tomorrow.

I voted for Kerry, mostly because I think Dubya is a big dumbass. I didn't vote for him once when he was governor here, and I haven't voted for him as president, so since I don't intend to start voting for him now, I didn't. I could go into it, but I don't wanna piss any one off today.

In other news, wish my mom a happy birthday. She's 21 years old today.

Gotta get back to work!

Because I'm disillusioned

04 November, 2004 at 02:31 PM by Ren | Permalink

I've decided not to post an entry on how much it may really suck now that George the Lesser has gotten himself re-elected, because it saddens me that the American public is that easily duped. Really.

I'm also very sad, because Freaky isn't allowed to IM from work anymore. I don't have anyone to bitch about how much I hate the "graphic artist", or to sing popular songs in spanish to. It sucks.

Instead of me continuing to bitch though, take a peek at my current playlist (thanks, iTunes!). As per last time, the first 10 entries have been played; 11 is what is currently playing; and 12 - 36 are in the party shuffle queue.

  1. Walkie Talkie Man - Steriogram
  2. The Imperial March (Darth Vader's Theme) - London Symphony Orchestra (The Empire Strikes Back Soundtrack)
  3. Be Quiet and Drive (Far Away) - Deftones
  4. Shooting Stars - Cauterize
  5. She Hates Me - Puddle of Mudd
  6. Party Up - DMX
  7. Let Me Clear My Throat - DJ Kool
  8. Don't Wanna Fall In Love - Jane Child
  9. Missing - Everything but the Girl
  10. The Flag Parade - London Symphony Orchestra (The Phantom Menace Soundtrack)
  11. Personal Jesus - Depeche Mode
  12. Secret - Madonna
  13. Me Against the Music (Rishi Rich Bhangra Mix) - Britney Spears
  14. I See You Baby (Fatboy Slim Mix) - Groove Armada
  15. Whip It - Devo
  16. Just One Of Those Days - Monica
  17. I'll Be Here Awhile - 311
  18. Razorblade (unreleased) - Blue October
  19. All By Myself - Green Day
  20. Just Another Day - Vallejo
  21. Your Song - Elton John
  22. James Brown Is Dead (Orignal Mix) - LA Style
  23. I'm A Slave 4 U (Thunderpuss Radio Edit) - Britney Spears
  24. Groove is in the Heart - Deelite
  25. Funkytown - Lipps, Inc.
  26. Don't Leave Me This Way - Thelma Houston
  27. Nasty - Janet Jackson
  28. Goody Too Shoes - Adam Ant
  29. All I Want - Toad the Wet Sprocket
  30. My Generation - Chapeaumelon
  31. The Middle - Jimmy Eat World
  32. Like a Virgin - Madonna
  33. It's Not Right But It's Okay (Thunderpuss 2000 Radio Edit) - Whitney Houston
  34. Come Here Boy - Imogen Heap
  35. The Ballad Of John & Yoko - The Beatles
  36. Put Your Back Into It - Ice Cube

Not quite as diverse as last week's, but it puts the bounce in my chair dancing.

Hopefully in the next few days I will get to the story of the gigantic spider that lives above my door.

Freaky, if you're reading this, I miss you being online.

Yes, yes I know.

10 November, 2004 at 04:19 PM by Ren | Permalink

I know I've been slacking, but you know how it is sometimes. Besides, nothing noteworthy is going on in my life right now, so I'm continuing on my trend of posting about how much I love my music collection. Today, I'm sharing a particular playlist. This one is called "'HoYay! jams"--if you can't guess what HoYay is short for, you need more help than this weblog can provide you. The idea was inspired by RollerMog and his wonderful playlist featuring songs about masturbating. Yay for a good wank!

If you feel that I'm destroying the sanctity of marriage by creating this playlist, you need to kiss my ass and register as a Republican. Anyway, if you see clear deficiencies in this playlist (once you figure out what the criteria for being *in* the playlist are) let me know.

  1. Michael - Franz Ferdinand
    Uh, guys singing about dancing with other guys; I think that's rather self-explanatory.
  2. Somebody Told Me - The Killers
    "Somebody told me, that you had a boyfriend that looked like a girlfriend I had in February of last year" - A little suspicious if you ask me.
  3. More Effeminate Than You - Robin Black
    I don't think I have to say anything about this song; just look at it's friggen title.
  4. Cherry Lips (Go Baby, Go!) - Garbage
    Not only is this song hella-awesome--any song with timpani in it is automatically cool--but it's a song about a drag queen. Songs about drag queens are doubly awesome because drag queens are sassy. When they're not doing lines of coke. Or out of drag. Have you ever seen a drag queen out of drag? It's not pretty; in fact it's quite scary. So yeah. Songs about drag queens in drag = good. Songs about drag queens taking off the padding for their hips = not good.
  5. Don't Go - FeFe Dobson
    "Don't go! Girls and boys should be together. Don't go! Girls and boyscan rule the world. Don't go! Boys and boys should be together. Don't go! Girls and girls can rule the world." Um, any song that advocates boys and boys being together is promoting an anti-family alternative lifestyle. Hence it's inclusion on the list.
  6. Girls and Boys - Blur
    "Girls who are boys who like boys to be girls who do boys like they're girls who do girls like they're boys; always should be someone you really love!" Again, another song promoting deviant lifestyles. However, this one has a moral--always should be someone you really love. Indeed.
  7. Dancing Queen - ABBA
    First off, this song is by ABBA. Secondly, Dancing Queen. Haven't we all been there on a Saturday night?
  8. Dude (Looks Like A Lady) - Aerosmith
    Aerosmith--the original dirty old men of rock--released this gem in the mid 80's. If you pay attention to the lyrics they're quite hilarious (i.e. "she has a body like a Venus but she's packin' a surprise!") and also, again: song about a drag queen.
  9. Sweet Transvestite - Tim Curry
    Uh. Drag queen. Plus! Tim Curry. Any song that over the top has to be belted out by Tim Curry in fishnet hose. Good times.
  10. Beautiful - Christina Aguilera
    While not quite a song about HoYay! in the traditional sense, a song about being beautiful (no matter what they say) has my vote as the coming-out song of 2003. Hence it's inclusion.
  11. Boys Keep Swinging - David Bowie
    Glam rock is ghey. That's the only reason it's here.
  12. Backdoor Lover - Du Jour
    A diamond in the rough from the Josie and the Pussycats soundtrack, Backdoor Lover is full of double entendres to the love that dare not speak it's name.
  13. Gay Bar - Electric Six
    If I have to justify this one to you, I will just stare at you until you die.
  14. Relax - Frankie Goes to Hollywood
    Relax, don't do it, when you wanna get to it. Relax, don't do it, when you wanna come? Mmmm-hmmmmm.
  15. Deeper and Deeper - Madonna
    I'd be remiss if I made a playlist about fairies and didn't include a single song by Madonna. This one has the fortune of being written about one of Madge's favorite shopping buddies/backup dancer or something. So I hear.
  16. 20th Century Boy - Placebo
    Again, glam rock is ghey. This is a general statement that does indeed carry over into covers.
  17. She has a Girlfriend Now - Reel Big Fish
    "She said guys don't do no more for me!" Yup. That's ghey.
  18. We Are Family - Sister Sledge
    What kind of list would this be without at least one disco song? For one, it wouldn't be a playlist I created. Anyway, this song is like, one of the anthems of gaiety; it's one of the three songs you must listen for if you're not sure if you're in a gay dance club or not (the other two being: Don't Leave Me This Way by Thelma Houston and It's Raining Men by the Weather Girls).
  19. Bohemian Like You - Dandy Warhols
    Just trust me, this one is pretty ghey. At least I think so. Whatever.
  20. All Things (Just Keep Getting Better) - Widelife feat. Simone Denny
    The theme to Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Yeah, that's ghey.
  21. Sexuality - Billy Bragg
    Tar, thank you for introducing me to this song!
  22. I Could Never Be Your Woman - White Town
    No, it's not about being gay, it's about being a lesbian. Dur.

I do realize there's a glaring omission in this playlist: there are no songs by Cher. Frankly, though, I can't think of a single song she sings about the 'mo's that I can include on this list. Any ideas? Another song I could include is Part of Your World from the Little Mermaid soundtrack. Why, you ask? Because it was the first song I ever saw performed by a drag queen. Yes. I saw a female impersonator lip sync to Ariel's voice. In a sequined green gown and a giant red wig. Wow. It really sounds like I have a fascination with chicks with dicks, doesn't it? I can assure you, I do not. Trust me.

One closer to our yearly quota

15 November, 2004 at 06:19 PM by Ren | Permalink

I'd say let me be the first to welcome Scott Peterson into the funderful world of hot homosex, but it appears as though others may have already taken care of that.

I will, though congratulate Mr. Peterson for being so inventive on coming out of the closet; murdering your wife to get uh, "shanked" *ahem* by big strapping men behind bars has got to be this year's top coming out method.

Kudos, Scotty. I hope you and Butch the white supremacist have a beautiful life together. I'll be sure to send you some soap on a rope.

If you're lucky, Martha Stewart will have some tips on decorating your cell to help set the mood for you!

Ok, now it's time to disgust the rest of you. BEHOLD: DICK CHENEY'S PACKAGE.

Thank you, that is all.

Alexander the plastic

16 November, 2004 at 09:03 AM by Ren | Permalink

Well, I was just going to put this in the Sideshow, but it really deserves more commentary than a witty headline.

For $8.95 you can own your very own Alexander the Great Action Figure! I'm not sure I would know what to do with a classical Macedonian warrior king action figure--after all, where the hell is his lightsaber? How does he do battle with aliens from the future? Hit them with a javelin? Where's the fun in that?

On the other hand, we all know action figures come with gimmicks, right? Rock 'em sock 'em action and all that. So that brings me to my point: knowing what we know about Alexander the Great, it really brings new meaning to Kung-Fu Grip, doesn't it?