Yes, yes I know.
10 November, 2004 by Ren at 04:19 PM
I know I've been slacking, but you know how it is sometimes. Besides, nothing noteworthy is going on in my life right now, so I'm continuing on my trend of posting about how much I love my music collection. Today, I'm sharing a particular playlist. This one is called "'HoYay! jams"--if you can't guess what HoYay is short for, you need more help than this weblog can provide you. The idea was inspired by RollerMog and his wonderful playlist featuring songs about masturbating. Yay for a good wank!
If you feel that I'm destroying the sanctity of marriage by creating this playlist, you need to kiss my ass and register as a Republican. Anyway, if you see clear deficiencies in this playlist (once you figure out what the criteria for being *in* the playlist are) let me know.
- Michael - Franz Ferdinand
Uh, guys singing about dancing with other guys; I think that's rather self-explanatory. - Somebody Told Me - The Killers
"Somebody told me, that you had a boyfriend that looked like a girlfriend I had in February of last year" - A little suspicious if you ask me. - More Effeminate Than You - Robin Black
I don't think I have to say anything about this song; just look at it's friggen title. - Cherry Lips (Go Baby, Go!) - Garbage
Not only is this song hella-awesome--any song with timpani in it is automatically cool--but it's a song about a drag queen. Songs about drag queens are doubly awesome because drag queens are sassy. When they're not doing lines of coke. Or out of drag. Have you ever seen a drag queen out of drag? It's not pretty; in fact it's quite scary. So yeah. Songs about drag queens in drag = good. Songs about drag queens taking off the padding for their hips = not good. - Don't Go - FeFe Dobson
"Don't go! Girls and boys should be together. Don't go! Girls and boyscan rule the world. Don't go! Boys and boys should be together. Don't go! Girls and girls can rule the world." Um, any song that advocates boys and boys being together is promoting an anti-family alternative lifestyle. Hence it's inclusion on the list. - Girls and Boys - Blur
"Girls who are boys who like boys to be girls who do boys like they're girls who do girls like they're boys; always should be someone you really love!" Again, another song promoting deviant lifestyles. However, this one has a moral--always should be someone you really love. Indeed. - Dancing Queen - ABBA
First off, this song is by ABBA. Secondly, Dancing Queen. Haven't we all been there on a Saturday night? - Dude (Looks Like A Lady) - Aerosmith
Aerosmith--the original dirty old men of rock--released this gem in the mid 80's. If you pay attention to the lyrics they're quite hilarious (i.e. "she has a body like a Venus but she's packin' a surprise!") and also, again: song about a drag queen. - Sweet Transvestite - Tim Curry
Uh. Drag queen. Plus! Tim Curry. Any song that over the top has to be belted out by Tim Curry in fishnet hose. Good times. - Beautiful - Christina Aguilera
While not quite a song about HoYay! in the traditional sense, a song about being beautiful (no matter what they say) has my vote as the coming-out song of 2003. Hence it's inclusion. - Boys Keep Swinging - David Bowie
Glam rock is ghey. That's the only reason it's here. - Backdoor Lover - Du Jour
A diamond in the rough from the Josie and the Pussycats soundtrack, Backdoor Lover is full of double entendres to the love that dare not speak it's name. - Gay Bar - Electric Six
If I have to justify this one to you, I will just stare at you until you die. - Relax - Frankie Goes to Hollywood
Relax, don't do it, when you wanna get to it. Relax, don't do it, when you wanna come? Mmmm-hmmmmm. - Deeper and Deeper - Madonna
I'd be remiss if I made a playlist about fairies and didn't include a single song by Madonna. This one has the fortune of being written about one of Madge's favorite shopping buddies/backup dancer or something. So I hear. - 20th Century Boy - Placebo
Again, glam rock is ghey. This is a general statement that does indeed carry over into covers. - She has a Girlfriend Now - Reel Big Fish
"She said guys don't do no more for me!" Yup. That's ghey. - We Are Family - Sister Sledge
What kind of list would this be without at least one disco song? For one, it wouldn't be a playlist I created. Anyway, this song is like, one of the anthems of gaiety; it's one of the three songs you must listen for if you're not sure if you're in a gay dance club or not (the other two being: Don't Leave Me This Way by Thelma Houston and It's Raining Men by the Weather Girls). - Bohemian Like You - Dandy Warhols
Just trust me, this one is pretty ghey. At least I think so. Whatever. - All Things (Just Keep Getting Better) - Widelife feat. Simone Denny
The theme to Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Yeah, that's ghey. - Sexuality - Billy Bragg
Tar, thank you for introducing me to this song! - I Could Never Be Your Woman - White Town
No, it's not about being gay, it's about being a lesbian. Dur.
I do realize there's a glaring omission in this playlist: there are no songs by Cher. Frankly, though, I can't think of a single song she sings about the 'mo's that I can include on this list. Any ideas? Another song I could include is Part of Your World from the Little Mermaid soundtrack. Why, you ask? Because it was the first song I ever saw performed by a drag queen. Yes. I saw a female impersonator lip sync to Ariel's voice. In a sequined green gown and a giant red wig. Wow. It really sounds like I have a fascination with chicks with dicks, doesn't it? I can assure you, I do not. Trust me.