February 2005
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Representin' the Timbergate Clan
01 February, 2005 at 04:48 PM by Ren | Permalink
Being as busy an individual as I am, sometimes you fall behind in your required internet reading. It always makes me sad when I miss someone posting by like DAYS.
Which is why I'm very sad that I missed Danny's journal update about Box-dancing. See, back in my more frivilous days, I was something of a box-dancer myself. So it saddens me to see that box-dancing is becoming something of an endangered sport in the DFW area.
So, in the spirit of representin' my Timbergate peeps, I asked myself "Ren, how can you help prevent this tragedy?" I thought about getting some awareness bracelets (embossed with the words "Bring Back Box-dancing" and naturally, drenched in glitter), but figured that was too expensive.
Then I thought, "Well, maybe I can make Danny, my PR princess, a logo that he can work with to bring more of a spotlight to this box dancing problem..." So, I did.
I still thought I could do more, though. So I created this flyer so that Danny might distribute amongst the non-believers. It's in convenient PDF format so Kinko's will be able to reproduce it en masse rapidly. And for those of you too lazy to get a PDF viewer, I made a .jpg for you to gaze upon.
So anyway y'all. Fight The Man. Stop Frivolous lawsuits.
Bring Back Box-dancing!
Dude. It's like Pankot Palace in the SUB Ballroom!
06 February, 2005 at 11:40 PM by Ren | Permalink
Tonight, instead of watching the Superbowl halftime show, hoping beyond all hope that Sir Paul McCartney would drop trou and have his very own wardrobe malfunction--to Maybe I'm Amazed, natch!--showing everyone just what kinds of bits a Beatle has under his kit, I was driving to Kingsville to go to a meeting for the sorority I'm an advisor to.
Yes. I advise a sorority. Shut up. The national organization thinks it's very progressive of our chapter. So shut your pieholes, bitches.
Anyway, I get to the meeting in the [Memorial] Student Union Building (SUB) and I walk by the Ballroom to get to the room my meeting is in. Y'all. Every Indian sub-continent international student was on hand for some kind of celebration.
No, seriously. It was the Bangalore High School Ten Year Reunion in there. And they were doing Karaoke in there, too.
Swear to God.
I heard several different voices singing pop songs in various Indian tongues. I even peeked in a window to see if it was just being piped on or not; oh no, my friends. They had them up on stage and singing. They were rockin' that bouncing ball singing along!
Now, I actually get a kick out of Indian pop music, because it totally sounds like Britney Spears or Xtina, but in Indian form. So, I suppose that would make their Indian counterparts Pooja Spears and Christina Bhagalatawat. Don't get me started on the time Pooja broke up with Anil Timberlake; it's been all downhill for her ever since. But that's beside the point.
Indian pop music makes me giggle, because pop music does that to me. So fluffy, so bad for you; but it's so tasty sometimes! Think of it this way: how could you not listen to The Girls of the Taj Mahal sing Lady Marmalade...in Telugu?
Right, so about halfway through the meeting I'm in, I hear the wafting sounds of a tune so familiar, yet so hard to place. I zone out, stop paying attention to the troubles of the so-hoes and start listening more intently to the sweet, sweet sounds of Bollywood drifting through the SUB.
And I suddenly recognize the synth-pop floating through the air.
Someone is singing Rock On...yes, that version. The one covered by Michael Damian. Except this version is made all the more super-awesome because it's being sung in Hindi. Or possibly Bengali.
I'm not making any of this up; I couldn't come up with this in my wildest dreams. I mean really? Who would make up Rock On in Hindi? I could maybe come up with Pink Rickshaw...sung in Malayalam, but even that's a stretch. I don't have the ingenuity to come up with it on my own. It takes a village, people. Oh well; I guess it doesn't really matter, because...well, because JIMMY DEAN!
Jimmy Dean.
Rock On.
Freshen ya tea, gov'nah?
09 February, 2005 at 08:58 PM by Ren | Permalink
First off, y'all gotta wish my friend Mysti--who is a DJ in a major metropolitan market--much luck on a job opportunity opening up. I know I did my part today. I taught her how to say 'n dey say.'
I know, I know, what's a goofy hispanic kid living in South Texas know about ebonics? Well, let me tell you: back in the day (that's how we speak, yo) I was declared an honorary black man by the two African princesses in my HS marching band. And it's all thanks to me knowing the words to SWV's I'm so Into You.
Yes, it's true. I know, I can barely believe it myself (mostly because I don't remember most of the words anymore). But back when I was a scant 17 years old, I could recite to you lyrics to an SWV song. So impressed were Ebony and Claudia [that's such a pretty name...oh, and say it with a Spanish accent] (their names are changed, cuz that's how I roll) with my mad crazy skills that they declared me an honorary black man right there on our bus trip to whatever band function we were going to.
I've been afro-centric ever since.
So there you have it. That's how I'm qualified to teach Mysti how to speak ebonics properly. It's all about getting your learn on. So there I was, locked in my office helping my girl out, both in getting your learn on and helping her secure more favorable employment.
The fruits of my labor are in mp3 format, and about 1.2mb big. It's been a long time since I graced the airwaves, so I'm glad that I could make a triumphant return during the midday shift in Indianapolis and help a sho'ty out.
Secondly, tonight--as is per usual for me--I forgot to pay my electric bill. No big whoop, right? Well tonight I was in for a special surprise. You see, I picked up the phone to hear a voicemail calling me to remind me to pay my outstanding bill.
That's not funny, until I tell you that my friendly reminder was being delivered to me by a Victorian Governess.
Yes, you read that right. I was being reminded to pay my Central Power & Light bill by Mary F'n Poppins.
I can only thank God Himself that the voice on the other end was a recording. It was hard enough trying not to laugh hearing the CPL Governess reminding me to pay my bill; I can't imagine what it would be like if she was on the other end telling me live.
Mary Poppins: Gov'nah, I'm cawling to remind you thaaht your CPL enehgee bill is rathah pahst dew.
Ren: Yeah, I was meaning to get to that...
Mary P.: Well, yes. It is a rathah nahstee bizniss, aftah awl. Would it help if I got you some tea, gov'nah?
Ren: [STIFLING LAUGHTER] Why yes, that would be nice.
Mary P.: Right-o, then. One lump ohr two, love?
Ren: uh...two?
Mary P.: Here you go, love; fresh cuppa Earl Grey. Spit Spot!Oh, and love? Do remembah to pay your bill. It gets rathah drahfty in the Wintah.
Too much. I couldn't take it. Hell, I almost paid extra just to hear her talk. After all, what's a few Benjamins between friends?
Best website comment. EVAR.
16 February, 2005 at 11:12 AM by Ren | Permalink
When I first redesigned www.tamuk.edu, I was showered with compliments on a successful (I think) redesign. Within the last month, though, those compliments come few and far between. In fact, most of the comments are downright rude.
Luckily for me, I have a thick skin (shut up. I do) and let most of these pussy email commenters bust their nut trying to tell me what a shitty designer I am. Plus, I get a good laugh out of their idiocy. Especially when they have the temerity to sign anonymously.
Maybe its more of a comment.
Since A&M Kingsville is a STATE school in Texas, should not the city skyline in the background of the front page to the TAMU-K web site be that of a TEXAS city instead of Los Angeles? After all, it is the taxpayers of TEXAS that pay for TAMU-K - NOT california. Would UT, A&M, UH, TCU, Rice, TSU (swt), Tech use Los Angeles on their web page? NO ! ! ! ! ! !
Signed,
a south TEXAS taxpayer
And now, my response:
Dear, south TEXAS taxpayer,
As a resident of South Texas and a graduate of Texas A&M University-Kingsville I take great pride in presenting the best image possible for both the university and the South Texas community in general. However, I find it distressing that you, Mr. south TEXAS taxpayer, have missed the point of the 33 randomly rotating image banners on the university's front page. Each of those banners features a different student or alumnus of the university in the foreground, with images in the background often depicting their chosen field of study or career field--something someone as bright as you, Mr. south TEXAS taxpayer, would notice pretty quick, seeing as how you're some kind of whistle-blower for injustice against South Texas.
Clearly, Mr. south TEXAS taxpayer, you never went to college because someone with a university education would also be relatively familiar with current immigration law. I would like to take a moment to remind you that despite these troubled times we live in, the Department of Homeland Security has not made it illegal to move from South Texas to California after receiving a degree from Texas A&M-Kingsville. So it's safe to say that someone coming to school here would move to--oh I don't know, Los Angeles?--after graduating to pursue a career in business.
Speaking as an alumnus of Texas A&M-Kingsville and taxpayer of the Great State of Texas, I find it quite satisfying to know that the money I spent (both in taxes and in tuition) allows that piece of paper I hang over my desk to have validity in ever State in the Union; hell, it's recognized by every country on the freaking planet!
So, unless you come up with a more compelling reason as to why a student's fictictious dream of becoming something better should be limited to cities in the State of Texas, I'm not going to change it.
Sincerely,
a South Texas Web Designer
attenzione!
16 February, 2005 at 03:41 PM by Ren | Permalink
If anything looks wonky in the archives it's because i've got some fucking comment spammer porking up the archives forcing me to shut down the commenting feature on archived posts...unfortunately it required me modifying some of the templates and that just pisses me off because now shit's all messed up.
FUCK YOU eddiereva.com. Anyone know how to make those poker playing bastards at eddiereva.com hurt? Please?
Because those assholes totally deserve it.
Is it over?
19 February, 2005 at 12:38 AM by Ren | Permalink
That bastard who has been comment spamming the blogs I keep is a fucking bastard.
I think I beat him though.
However, if any one out there knows how to inflict pain of death (I'm looking at you , Hawkeye), by all means feel free.
That's eddiereva.com , Hawkeye.
Thank you for your support.
And fuck your asshole, eddiereva.com
iPod Owners Creed.
23 February, 2005 at 03:31 PM by Ren | Permalink
Because it would take too long to prepare an image for you guys to see of the most unusually shaped food item I've ever seen, I'm going to talk about this instead. I saw this the other day online:
- I am not better than you because I own an iPod.
- Nobody cares that I have an iPod.
- I will use higher quality headphones/earbuds than the supplied iPod earbuds, even though it may mean that everyone does not instantly know I have an iPod.
- iPod shuffle owners need not take the creed due to their lack of actually owning an iPod.
I mentioned it in the sideshow, but I felt the need to expound on what it says, because holy crap, it's so true. Let's go over it now, and see where I agree and disagree...Hollywood Squares style.
- I disagree. I am better than you because I own an iPod. Not much better, since it was given to me as an x-mas present by my father, but I'm still slightly better than you.
X gets the square.
- Agree. Indeed, no matter how much I show it off to people near and dear to me, no one really cares that I have an iPod. In fact, most people actually resent me for having an iPod.
Circle gets the square.
- Disagree. This is one of those things I mean to do (but I haven't) because I'm starting to notice that the white earbuds aren't cutting it. However, I have, in a way, already given in to this seeing as how I have an iTrip to play my iPod through the radio in my car. The downside to using my iPod mostly in my care is that no one knows I have an iPod. On the plus-side, people resent me less because they don't see that I have an iPod.
X gets the square.
- Agree. This is only negated if you have a regular iPod in addition to your iPod Shuffle. Then it's like having school clothes and play clothes. Different occasions call for different--and appropriate--outfits!
Circle gets the square.
It's a deadlock. But if you had an iPod...you'd understand.
Rollermog understands.