April 2005
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I just can't help myself!
01 April, 2005 at 08:35 AM by Ren | Permalink
I was going to write an entry about my recent trip to El Paso for Easter, but this is much too delicious to pass up.
So, last night I was uh, taking care of business before bed or whatever, right? And I'm partaking of the earthly delights the internet has to offer when I make a startling discovery.
So shocking it was that I had to call Krysdol immediately (damn the long distance charges to Hawai'i!) and inform her of what happened.
Ren: Dude, you're never gonna believe this.
Krysdol: What?
Ren: Well, I'm gonna tell you this and you don't get to judge me.
Krysdol: No more than I usually do.
Ren: So I was looking up dirty pictures on the internet--shut up, everyone does it--and well...remember how I told you one time it was only a matter of time before I saw nakee pictures of ------- ?[Brief Pause]
Krysdol: uh huh...
Ren: Well. The wait is over.
Krysdol: SHUT. UP.
Ren: I know, I'm totally freaked out by it. I mean, I expected it would happen someday, but I didn't know it would be this soon.
Krysdol: Well, ------- always said he was gonna do that for money...I didn't think he'd go through with it...
Ren: Oh, that's the best part; someone took captures from a web cam. It's from some kind of private showing or something. Done for free.
Krysdol: You should stop gloating.
Ren: Well, if it's any consolation to you, I have no desire to whack off anymore.
Krysdol: Not particularly.
Gawd. I think I need to get out more. Or possibly find new dirty websites to look at.
Eh, on the upside I guess, now I have blackmail material.
A funny thing happened on the way to a mass email
06 April, 2005 at 12:51 PM by Ren | Permalink
So, just now, someone from a student group came asking to send out a mass email.
No problem, I tell him. Just email it to me and I'll send it out.
But wait, he says. I have it stored here on my handy, dandy iPod Shuffle.
Sweet, I tell him. Let's plug that sucka in.
We do, and when I get it to function as a hard drive, I discover that my little friend has some of the more, uh, earthly delights the internet has to offer for download.
How deliciously scandalous!
Moral of the story: If you're going to let me pull files off your jump drive, make sure you take off the smut beforehand. It makes it hard for me to look at you afterwards without wanting to giggle. And also ask you for the pr0n.
Yes, I realize that all my stories lately revolve around vulgarities; I also notice that you're still reading. Pervert.
Funny convos
07 April, 2005 at 01:07 PM by Ren | Permalink
Conversing with my good friend Batman via IM today, I had to post this gem of a conversation:
Batman: damn discrete math, I like it but its a sneaky bitch
Ren: I don't even know what that is
Ren: Is that math that sucks cock, but doesn't tell its friends about it?
Batman: ROFL
Batman: [It's a] course in logic
Ren: OH
Ren: my bad
Ren: that's DISCREET math.
And then later during a conversation about Batman's online pastimes:
Batman: and tell RollerMog that he needs to create a character on my server
Ren: I thought he did?
Batman: he did but the character is a bit young for me to be able to play with him
Ren: what's that mean?
Ren: is there like, statuatory rape in Warcraft?
You know what pisses me off?
13 April, 2005 at 09:24 AM by Ren | Permalink
Speakerphone.
Oh GOD, I hate speakerphone. I mean, it has its purposes. I think it's useful when you're on hold for a long while--you can put the handset down, switch to speaker and wait for a live body to come on the line. Yeah, it's useful then.
It's also got some function when say, you're at another site, and everyone else is in one place. They put you on speaker and everyone conference calls or whatever. That has some merit.
But I absolutely hate it when someone calls me and has me on speaker to ask me a question. It always seems to me like it's some kind of power play--a "look at what I can make you do" sort of thing. I mean, really, it's not convenient at all. You have to shout into the phone and I still can't hear a frakking thing you're saying anyway.
Stop being a lazy motherfucker and pick up the phone and talk to me.
Damn, I hate speakerphone.
Bills, Bills, Bills
14 April, 2005 at 03:18 PM by Ren | Permalink
I could be mad at what one of my superiors here at work is doing...not telling me assignments that I should be doing, preferring to use the excuse that I'm "difficult to work with" and then blaming me for it not getting done...but instead, I'm not drinking the haterade and seeing if I can get you guys to make a decision for me.
Which bill should I pay today? Should I pay my CPL (electricity) bill, or my SBC (telephone) bill?
I could actually pay them both today--I mean, I have the money and all--but I rather like courting disaster. So help me decide. I mean, CPL is electricity, which I need to do just about anything at home, but SBC is my DSL provider. So you see the quandry I'm in. Although I do technically need electricity to provide my DSL seeing as how the modem won't function without a power supply.
Still, I can't make the decision on my own. Help out! Leave a comment. Tell me what to do.
But make it quick. I can't afford reconnect fees.