January 2007
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December 2006 Playlist
02 January, 2007 at 04:40 PM by Ren | Permalink
I trust everyone had a good New Year's Eve, and in that spirit I present to you the final playlist of 2006.
Enjoy!
- Sexyback - Justin Timberlake
- London Bridge - Fergie
- Here it Goes Again - OK Go
- Get Me Bodied (Extended Mix) - Beyonce
- New York, New York - Moby f/Debbie Harry
- Kiss Me - Robbie Williams
- Just A Ride - Jem
- Starry Eyed Surprise - Paul Oakenfold f/Crazytown
- And She Was - Talking Heads
- Lovestoned / I Think She Knows Interlude - Justin Timberlake
- Fergalicious - Fergie f/Will.I.Am
- Once in a Lifetime - Talking Heads
- Hear My Name - Armand Van Helden
- Song for the Dumped - Ben Folds Five
- Candyman - Christina Aguilera
- Semi-Charmed Life - Third Eye Blind
- Pussy - Lords of Acid
- From Paris to Berlin - Infernal
- Sleigh Ride - Boston Pops
- Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas - John Williams
There's a couple Xmas tunes to get me in the mood this month, as well as a disturbing trend: you'll note that there are three artists with more than one tune on here (Justin Timberlake, Fergie and Talking Heads). I'm not sure how that happened, but my guess is that I'm transitioning out of one set of songs into another. The Talking Heads one is just a fluke; they're only on there because I just got those two songs and I wanted to give them some play before they live forever in the "I love the 80's playlist".
Anyway, have a happy new year, I'll probably continue this experiment in 2007, too. Because I absolutely love people judging my musical tastes! Hey, at least there's not any Hoobastank on here.
The previous lists can be found here: here (January); here (February); here (March), here (April), here (May)., here (June), here (July), here (August), here (September), here (October), and here (November). The year's top ten playlist is available here.
"Have a good flight"
04 January, 2007 at 03:32 PM by Ren | Permalink
I am sitting in my office here at work after spending a long morning finding 11"x17" clear plastic sleeves for some posters we're entering into a competition. Anyway, seeing as how my quest took all morning, I gave myself a gift. I took a long lunch and got a chance to see The Oracle shortly before her flight left back for Dallas and the Great Beyond (read: Florida).
See, The Oracle now lives in the Far, Far Away studying slugs or something that apparently has some medical value to humanity (here's to curing my cancer in 20 years, Oracle!), so it's rare that I get to see her anymore.
I got to see her one last time before she left today. We went to lunch at Chili's. Afterwards I dropped her off where she was staying and said "have a good flight" after a good hug goodbye.
It occurred to me on my drive to work that I always say "have a good flight" when someone is flying somewhere. I never say "have a safe flight." And I'll get to that in a second.
When someone drives somewhere, you say "have a safe drive," right? I know I do. You see, because you're in control of the vehicle you sort of have some say in the safety level of the voyage it makes sense to remind someone to drive safely. You don't get that when you're flying.
People tell me "have a safe flight" all the time when I fly. I always respond with "it's not really up to me, now is it?" I know that sounds kind of glib, but it's true; it's not up to you whether your flight is safe or not, that's the captain's job or possibly some guy on the ground with a Madonna headset. Point is, it's really not in your hands whether the wings fall off or you come in to the runway too fast. It's someone else's job to take care of that. All you gotta do is take your iPod or your book--if you're analog like that--and sit and wait for the flight attendant to throw you your soda and some peanuts.
So, whenever someone goes on a trip on an airplane, I say "have a good flight" because, well, they can usually control that part of the trip. Whether the plane goes down in flames, though, is out of their control. It's the captain's job to make it a safe flight.
Anyway, to The Oracle, I say have a good flight home. Say hi to your parents and your delightful puppy for me. Oh, and your brother, too.
If not, uh, I dunno, have a safe flight. Or something.
Best email subject line, ever.
24 January, 2007 at 01:00 PM by Ren | Permalink
I've been on the internet for a long, long time. Since the early-to-mid nineties to be exact, so it's easy for me to declare that I've pretty much seen it all here. That is until today.
Today I got the best subject line ever. EVAR. It's that good.
How would you like to be hung like a Rhino?
Seriously. That's the subject line. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.
Obviously the email was for pills enlarging not just the length, but the girth of my penis. Enough to make me, as the email bluntly states in the vernacular, "hung like a rhino."
How do I respond? I mean, at first glance, yes, I would like to be hung like a rhino. But when I gave it more thought, not so much.
Think about it: being hung like a rhino isn't practical. Where will you put all that meat when you put on your pants? What happens when you have to poop; like, does your large African land mammal weener dip into the toilet bowl water? (If so, that's definitely a no-go for me). What do you do with your dong when the inevitable accidental boner happens? You just can't push it down your pant leg without people seeing the tremendous bulge it causes; the fact that you have a rhino-sized dong would probably mean it drags out past the cuff of your slacks anyway. And just think, who's really going to want to get dicked by a penis of rhinocerous proportions? It's fun to look at and marvel about, sure, but when it comes right down to it, do you really think anyone is going to let you put it anywhere near their no-no parts?
And consider this: say you and someone special happen to be in your office and decide on some afternoon delight. You can't just walk into a closet in the office and whip out your stick, now can you? It's a chore to lug that thing out of its constraints and put it up to the face of your beloved to, erm, enjoy. I mean, it just takes the fun right out of it. Not to mention the fact that a rhino rod would be nearly impossible to fit down one's gullet. Again, this goes back to the "who's going to let you put it near their no-no parts?" argument.
Sure, it'll be fun at first; whip it out at parties as a conversation piece (pun intended), use it as a third leg for a tripod when you're tired and feel like taking a standing nap, but that'll get old. And once it does, you're still stuck with a giant wang that everyone stares at, but no one wants to play with. There's no joy in that.
So, I wrote the spammer back.
Dear *********,
Thank you for your intriguing offer. Although I briefly considered sending off for more information regarding your miracle pills, I ultimately decided against them. Being hung like a rhino, as you so eloquently put it, definitely has pros and cons. However, I decided that having a rhino cock would be fun for a short time, but in the end, who wants a giant dick no one wants to play with?
Not me, that's who.
So, I'm happy with my average penis, but again, thank you for the offer.
With warm regards,
ren
I've not yet heard a response.