March 2007
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Oh, the shame!
13 March, 2007 at 09:00 PM by Ren | Permalink
I'm just going to put it out there, to free me of the crushing shame of it all: I think the Free Credit Report dot com guy is totally cute. I can't help it anymore; the guilt is overbearing! I watch the commercial every time it's on and it's time I bared my ignominy with the interwebs.
The shame!
I'm totally crushing on a paid spokesman shilling a scam product.
The embarrassment!
The number I was thinking was not 720—if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
The humiliation!
Whatever.
Y'all like him, too. I just know it. Especially you.
You know who you are.
No, not you. You. The bow-legged one. (ha ha) Damn baby, you make me sick. You probably like the Geico caveman. Perv. At least my television crush is a member of the same species as I am.
I <3 U Free Credit Report Dot Com guy. But not you, Geico Caveman. We hates you.
Madness?
19 March, 2007 at 01:13 PM by Ren | Permalink
Finally, a movie that satisfies my lust for both violence and flesh.
I mean seriously? Swords and armor, blood, monsters, guys in leather underwear, capes and not much else. It has it all. Even, apparently, boobs—though I have to say, all the men in that movie have bigger tits than her.
The only thing that would make it better were some hard core making out. They are Greek, after all. And don't even start with why everything has to be gay with me, Batman. Everything is gay. Have I taught you nothing? Seriously, The way Astinos and Stelios were flirting, they were about [ ] that far away from saying "SURPRISE, BUTTSECKS!" to one another, if you know what I mean. And you totally do. Of course, in my version, they totally did.
Anyone who has ever been to a movie knows that I rarely stay quiet during a film. Despite the distraction of nipples and bloodlust, this film was no exception.
Overheard in the theater:
Ren: He may not be old enough to have known the touch of a woman, but he's definitely known the touch of a man, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. He is Greek, after all.
Batman: Why does everything have to be gay with you!?!?!?!
Ren: Because everything is gay, Batman. Hello, he's GREEK. That makes it double gay.Krysdol: OH MY GOD, NOOO! Not the pretty one, he can't die!
Ren: Krysdol, you do know how this ends, right?
Krysdol: I'm no longer emotionally invested in this movie.Ren: Aww, look, Queen Gorgo is crying because she wishes he was Boromir, too. Why doesn't anyone like him best?!
And then after the movie was over, a group of what would appear to be fratboys came out of the theater dressed in togas and played swords and talked about how effing awesome the movie was...
Ren: You totally know they're going to bro out after they get home, don't you Krysdol?
Krysdol Oh, totally
Ren:[in the voice of one of the fratboys] DOOOOOOD, that movie was so freakin' awesome, right bro? I mean, like, all those swords and killing and dudes in capes and underwear; it's like freaking awesome. Bro, when we get home, we should like, freakin' re-enact the battles, and then like, make out and screw. Right on.
Krysdol: [also as a fratboy] Oh, totally bro. Bro out and shit. Freakin' awesome
[In her normal speaking voice] You are so horrible, Ren.
Ren: What? You totally know that's what's going to happen.
Batman: Why does everything have to be gay with you two?!?!?!!
Ren + Krysdol: Uh, because it is.
Ok, now I really should get back to work. I really didn't intend for me to take so long to post about this cinematic masterpiece, but I've been busy and decided to waste the time now instead of letting a good post go to waste.
See how we're affordable!
26 March, 2007 at 02:07 PM by Ren | Permalink
So, I'm working on some research for work looking at how many other universities translate their website into other languages, and which ones, etc. when I notice that on Southwestern University's website, I see this gem of a statement:
See how we're affordable – 85% of our students receive financial assistance.
Somehow mentioning how many of your students are on financial aid doesn't prove that you're affordable at all. It makes me think you're so expensive 85% of your students need financial aid just to go there.
Then again, maybe it's just me.